When the Tough Gets Going
by PantheraAstaire
Summary: Lexa and Clarke have been married for almost Seven years now with two kids, life is starting to get... bumpy. Lexa just went into business with Indra. They are working as a private contractor for the military. Sending people in to help train soldiers in Military logistics and defense. Lex and Indra were in the Military together, and she retired just after she and Clarke got married
1. Give Me a Shirley Temple

**I wanted to say a few things before this chapter...**  
 **This is my first Clexa fic, not my first fic ever. I have the first half of this story done already so I am thinking I will be on a posting schedule of Wednesday and Saturday afternoons (EST) normally, today is a bonus day. The story will run about 20 to 25 chapters depending on how on topic I stay to my outline or if I run off tangent. (Sometimes Clexa demands it) If you have any questions, or just wanna talk about this story or anything Clexa you can find me on tumblr at Clexagiraffesandbrittana319 im new over there. I am posting this to A03 as well, but am going to keep the same schedule with it.**  
 **Well end rant here, I hope you enjoy this story...**  
 **Also I could use a Beta, so if your up for that... hit me up.**

* * *

 **Clarke: I need you to come by and get the kids… I cannot paint while they are here.**

 **Lexa: I am sorry, I can't right now… I am trying to finish up this plan with Indra and then I will be done.**

 **Clarke: How long?**

 **Lexa: An hour & a half two tops. **

**Clarke: Ughhhh**

 **Lexa: I am sorry Clarke… maybe see what O is doing?**

 **Lexa: Or Raven?**

"I didn't sign up to raise kids with O or Raven!" Clarke breathed to herself.

She knew that Lexa was busy; she knew that when Lexa and Indra went into business together for themselves that it was going to be a lot. But she didn't realize she would be spending so many nights and days alone. They are working as private contractors for the military. Sending people 'in' to help train soldiers in military logistics and defense. Lexa and Indra had been in the military together, and Lexa retired just after she and Clarke got married, when they decided to have kids.

"Jacob Griffin Woods, I swear if you don't stop pulling your sister's hair!"

"She started it!" The nearly six year old boy said.

"She is three, how did she start it."

"Because Mom, she won't…" the boy paused as if he was thinking.

She opened her texts and typed.

 **Clarke: Hey, anyway you can help with these rugrats a while? They sure miss their Auntie?**

"Sounds to me, like you are having to think awfully hard there, Jacob…" Clarke got up from her easel and lifted the little girl into her arms. "Miss Kate" She kissed her blonde hair. "Is brother picking on you?"

"Momma?" Kate asked for Lexa.

"I know, I want Momma too," Clarke sighed.

"Where is she?" Jake asked.

"Working, she and Indra had to get something finished then she will be on her way."

Her phone beeped in her hand, and she checked it, sitting down with Kate on her lap.

 **Octavia: Yeah, of course… You at home or your studio? Where is Lex?**

 **Clarke: I am at the studio, trying to paint with them is impossible, and I have that deadline next week… for that art showing I have in three weeks… and this alien inside me. So… yeah my life is impossible at the moment.**

"Can we go home?" Jake asked.

"I can't but Auntie O is going to come get you and I am sure she will take you home, or to her house…"

"Her house! Her house! Her house!" Jake chanted.

"We will see when she gets here."

"Is Momma there?" Kate asked.

"No honey, Momma is at work."

"Okay" She sighed.

"I know, me too" Clarke said. Kissing the little blonde head…. "Me too."

 **Octavia: I am not far, be there in a second… you and Lex okay?**

 **Clarke: Yeah, just both busy, and stressed. A lot going on.**

 **Octavia: Okay, you know you can talk to me…**

 **Clarke: I know, thank you.**

"Is Uncle Lincoln with her?" Jake asked.

"I don't think so, he was out of town with work remember?"

"Is he going to be back to watch my baseball game tomorrow?"

"It's Friday, and I don't know, we will ask Auntie O."

"Is Momma going to watch my baseball game?"

"I don't know, we will ask Momma."

"She's always working."

 **Lexa: Did you get someone to come get them?**

 **Clarke: Yes.**

 **Lexa: Are you mad at me?**

 **Clarke: No.**

 **Lexa: are you sure?**

 **Clarke: yes.**

/

5PM

"Thank you for coming to get them O" Clarke said as she handed her best friend a bag with some stuff for both kids in it."

"You're welcome. I love my little nuggets you know that!"

"I do, but this is the third time this week you have had to take them for me, and I just… thank you."

"Hey, no sweat… Your house or mine?"

"YOURS!" Jacob said excited pulling on Octavia's arm.

"That is up to you, you know Jake loves your place, but I may not be home till late. My wife says she will be home in 'two hours max'… but…"

"So four" Octavia nods, got it. Well I will take them to my place. We will make dinner… I have pjs there. They have their beds."

"Though they always end up in yours"

"You say 'no' to these faces!"

"She does!" Jacob said.

"I do" Clarke nodded, then kissed Jacob, and handed Kate to Octavia.

"I will let Lexa know to text you about pick up." Clarke said. "Thank you!"

"Of course, I love it" Octavia hugged her friend, "And you, how is my littlest in there?"

"Little still; long time to cook." She smiled.

"Call me if you need me." O said.

"You too, be good you guys, Mommy loves you."

"Love you Mommy!" Kate said.

"Yeah yeah, love you Mom." Jacob said running out the door with his auntie's hand in his.

Clarke sat back down at her easel and sent her wife a quick text.

 **Clarke: Kids went to O's house. Text her about pick up.**

 **Lexa: Will do.**

Clarke wanted more from her, she wanted to respond and say something, anything. But couldn't. She knew that Lexa was busy with work; she knew she and Indra had a ton on their plates, but they had a family, and she had a gallery showing in three weeks, which Lexa had pushed her to do. She was also three months pregnant. Something both she and Lexa had wanted, but Lexa was so excited for another baby. And now she was gone. The kids asked for her all of the time. Clarke put them to bed alone more times then she could count; and Lexa would get up in the morning early, and be gone before they'd wake up most days it felt like. Clarke was frustrated. And she felt alone. And her paintings were reflecting that. This was one of her darkest collections to date, and in a time in her life where it shouldn't be. They were great, and she was happy with them, but they were dark, and sad, and came from a place of loneliness and longing.

/

She had been painting for at least a few hours, she wasn't sure. She had found a rhythm and was only pulled out of it when her phone rang. She answered it without looking at the screen, honestly figuring it was her wife.

"Yeah?" She said haphazardly into the phone.

" _Well aren't you just a ball of sunshine."_

"Hey Rae" She said, "sorry, I thought you were Lex…"

" _And things are that good with her, eh?"_

"Ugh, I can't even right now Raven! What time is it anyway?"

" _Okay, okay… and it's almost 8… stuck in a painting warp?"_

"Yes, thanks to O who came and got my kids… again."

" _You could have called me."_

"I figured you were in the lab."

" _I am… but I would have left."_

"See, you would have left your job to come get my kids, but my wife won't?"

" _Do you wanna talk about it?"_

"No. Fuck it; yes… wanna go get a drink?"

" _Clarke you can't drink…"_ Raven said.

"I can't; you can. And I could really just use some time out."

" _Ark?"_

"God, yes." Clarke said, "I will meet you there in like 20 mins, I just need to wash the paint off my face and then throw my hair up."

" _Are you walking?"_

"Yeah it's right down the street. I am just going to leave my car here… I could use the fresh air. We can walk back and I will drive you home."

" _Okay I will Uber over. See you soon."_

"Hey Rae?"

" _Yeah?"_

"Thanks."

" _Of course."_

/

Thirty minutes later.

Clarke and Raven were sitting at the bar, Raven having a beer, Clarke water.

Bellamy walked over, "Hey girls… Where is my sister?"

"Watching my kids like the fucking saint that she is!" Clarke said.

"You're not drinking?" Bell asked.

No one knew that Clarke was pregnant yet except Raven and Octavia and Anya Abby. She was waiting until the end of this month, just to keep on the safe side of things.

"No, I got to go home to the kids. Just blowing off some steam with Raven for a little while…"

"Well, glad you're here, anything you want on me, as always."

Bellamy owned the Ark, and the girls loved it as they always ate and drank for free, it was their regular hang out and right down the street from Clarke's studio.

"Thanks Bell, you're the best." Clarke smiled holding up her water.

"You're going to have to tell people soon, you're already showing." Raven said quietly as Bellamy walked away.

"I know, I always show right away." Clarke said.

Her phone buzzed her in hand.

 **Octavia: Lexa just texted and said she would be here at 9 she is on her way…**

Clarke looked at the time, 8:30… "Of fucking course."

"What?" Raven asked swigging her beer.

"Lex… she was supposed to get the kids two hours ago and she is just on her way to O's house…"

"What is going on with that?"

 **Clarke: Come to The Ark when she gets em? Raven and I are here…**

"Can we talk about something else for a little bit, we will get to that, I promise. But right now, I just need to talk about literally anything else. How are you?"

Raven shrugged. "I'm good. Busy as hell with work, and trying to find time to get to the doc to get my nub looked at."

"Everything ok with that?" Clarke asked concerned.

"I think it's just time for a new prosthetic…" Raven nodded swigging her beer.

"No not Prostie!" Clarke put out her booboo lip. "She's like part of the family!"

"Oh my god, you are such a dork!" Raven laughed, "Why do I hang out with you again?"

"I would say because you love me, but I honestly think it's because you love my kids now." Clarke laughed.

"Truth!" Raven held up her beer bottle and clinked it to Clarke's water glass before taking a sip. "I am fucking in love with those babies. Speaking of, can I have Kate soon?"

"Yes" Clarke nodded.

"Didn't even have to think about that" Raven laughed.

"You're her Godmother, why would I think about that?"

Clarke's phone buzzed on the bar.

 **Octavia: I am on my way. Lex just left.**

 **Clarke: wonderful**

"O is on her way" She said to Raven, and then her phone beeped again.

 **Lexa: Hey, I am on my way home. O said you were at the Ark with Raven.**

 **Clarke: Yeah, just talking. Octavia is on her way, going to hang out for a little while. Is that okay?**

 **Lexa: Yeah have fun, Kate is asleep and Jake and I are going to curl up and read a book I think. I love you.**

 **/**

About fifteen minutes later

"What's up bitches?" Octavia walked over and sat down on the other side of Clarke.

"Hi, I love you!" Clarke said leaning into Octavia. "How were they?"

"Great, as always; Kate fell asleep minutes before Lex got there."

"Of course she did" Clarke shook her head. "She had been asking for her all day too."

"Hey Octavia" Miller said from behind the bar.

"Sup Miller" O smiled.

"Beer?"

"Please" O nodded.

"Another Raven?" Miller asked.

"Yes, please" Raven nodded.

"You sure you don't want one?" Miller asked Clarke.

"Nah I'm good, can I get a…" She thought for a moment "Shirley Temple though?"

Miller grinned at her, "Like the virgin drink, Sprite and grenadine?"

"Please? With a cherry?" Clarke smiled.

Miller laughed at her, "Of course, coming right up…"

"So…" Raven said… "Talk to us, what is going on with Lex?"

"She has been MIA for weeks now!" Clarke sighed.

"Work?" Raven asked.

"Yes, but that is no excuse. When we talked about her and Indra doing this, she said she would have some late nights but keep it to just a few a weeks. And be sure to be home for dinner at least three nights a week and to tuck the kids in…"

"But she's not?"

"Nopppe" Clarke rolled her eyes. "I think she saw Jake two times last week awake. And I don't even know about Kate."

"That's shit." Raven said.

"It is, and on top of all of it, I am supposed to have this art show in three weeks, but I don't know if that's a good idea."

"No, no no!" Octavia said. "Didn't you say that Nia was going to make her decision off of this show?"

"O, I can't be a featured artist; I can barely get this one show together. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old and my wife is never home. Plus I am" She looks around "pregnant again" She whispers.

"No, you have to talk to Lexa." Raven says loudly.

"Shhh, Jesus… someone is going to hear you. We know everyone at this bar; I don't really want my personal business shrewn all over… Plus Lexa and Indra just went into business with the Military I don't think I can really ask her to dial back after I told her to go for it."

"Their private contractors and she agreed to certain things before partnering with Indra and the government, I am sure it's possible." Octavia said.

"I don't know." Clarke shrugged.

"Well if she can't then I got you." Octavia said.

"Yeah, me too" Raven said. "You can't… you have to do this show, Clarke."

Her phone beeped, it was Lexa.

 **Lexa: Jake and I are going to go to bed, I am going to lay with him. If I fall asleep in there, wake me up when you get home k? I love you.**

 **Clarke: okay. Kiss them both for me, I love you too.**

"So?" Raven asked looking towards Clarke's phone.

"SO?" Clarke asked confused.

"Are you going to talk to her?" Raven asked.

"I don't know Rae." Clarke sipped her drink. "Fuck I wish this was beer."


	2. Do you know?

Do you know?

* * *

Clarke walked into the back door setting her keys on the table by the door, and hanging her jacket on the coat rack before making her way into the house. Getting into the kitchen she turned on the light. Their kitchen was huge, and had a very sterile look. Everything was white with stainless steel appliances. Clarke absolutely loved to cook, and found solace in the kitchen; so when they had this house built she made sure the kitchen was her safe haven along with art studio in the attic; even though she didn't paint much at home since Kate had been born. Something about having two kids in the house just made it feel harder. Even though lately both kids ended up at her studio so much, she figured there wasn't much of a difference. She only stayed at the studio because she didn't want Lexa to see her paintings. Not yet.

Lexa and Clarke had a huge house they had built custom. They were very well off, besides the career Lexa had accomplished in the Marines, she was a trust fund baby. Both her parents died when she was fifteen, and they were old money who left Lexa everything. Clarke was never too comfortable with the whole 'lots of money' situation though she wasn't foreign to it. Growing up the only child of two doctors one being the top leading neonatal surgeon in the country before he passed away. Jake Griffin was the best at what he did and her mother Abby Griffin was and is still a trauma surgeon. But when Clarke started dating Lexa she had no idea about all of the money, and to this day it was something she tried not to think about really.

As Clarke walked up the stairs quietly she looked into Kate's room. She saw the mess of blonde curls asleep in her new toddler bed with her Giraffe Oogah in her arms. Oogha went everywhere with that girl, and she never slept without her. She continued down the hall and glanced into Jake's room seeing the little boy asleep sprawled out in his bed, his sandy blonde hair was damp from sweat so she turned on his fan then headed up the small flight of steps to her and Lexa's room. It was dark, but she could tell Lexa's side light was on before she even got to the door. She leaned against it and just looked at her wife in bed under the covers; knees propped up glasses on reading over a folder Clarke knew was work. Her brown chestnut curls were pulled up into a loose bun. The tattoo on her arm was what Clarke's eyes were immediately drawn to for some reason. So many times she has traced it with her fingers; so many times she has kissed it.

"Hi" Lexa says looking up from her folder with a soft smile on her face.

"Hi" Clarke says biting her lip back forgetting even if just for a second, she was hurt.

"How was your night with the girls?" Lexa asked.

And suddenly she remembered again.

"Fine." Clarke said her eyes averting from her wife's.

"You okay?" Lexa asked putting the folder down on her nightstand.

"Yep" she walked over to their closet to get changed for bed.

"Babe?" Lexa called… Nothing.

"Clarke?" She called again.

Clarke walked out of the closet pulling one of Lexa's old USMC t-shirts on.

"Yeah?" Clarke asked.

"You're mad at me…"

Clarke walked over to the bed and pulled her side of the blankets down and got in, "Yes, Lexa… I am."

"Because?" Lexa asked taking her glasses off her face.

"Because O had to come get the kids, again" She said not even looking at her wife.

"I had to work."

"I know" Clarke nodded. "You have been doing an awful lot of that lately…"

"Clarke, we are just getting this company off the ground. I told you when we started it was going to be-"

"You TOLD ME when you started you would be home at least three nights a week to have dinner and put the kids to bed with me, Lexa!"

"I am sorry Clarke!"

"Are you?" Clarke asked trying not to yell.

"Yes, of course."

"We need you here Lex!"

"I know!" Lexa said sitting up.

"Well do you know that all day Kate asked for Momma? And did you see her awake today, Lexa?"

"No" Lexa said.

"Do you know when the last time you did was?" Clarke asked.

Lexa paused, clearly thinking.

"The fact that you have to think about that, Lexa is…"

"I know" Lexa said.

"And Jake… He asked me today if you were going to be at his first baseball game because you work a lot and he is afraid you are going to miss it. It's Friday, Lexa do you know that?"

"Yes, he told me tonight, I am trying Clarke."

"Are you? Are you really trying? Because I think you have only seen Jacob three times this week, and I can't remember the last time you saw Kate awake and it doesn't seem like you can either. Octavia has had them three nights this week for me so I could paint, because I have deadlines for this art gallery I have coming up. Which is something you pushed me to do but I can't paint with the kids at the studio. I can't paint and get Jake to baseball, and Kate to ballet, and make sure they're bathed and have dinner ready at the end of every day. I am doing this alone right now Lex, I don't want to do this alone anymore."

"Its work Clarke it will calm down after the first few months." Lexa was trying to stay calm, the last thing she wanted to do was fight with her wife.

"I can't do this for a few months Lexa, and neither can the kids."

"The kids are just fine." Lexa said. "And you have O and Raven to help until things calm down for me at work. I know it's not ideal but they love the kids and don't mind helping."

"The kids MISS you Lexa… They miss their Momma and I miss you! I know they're just fine, their healthy and taken care of thanks to Octavia and Raven, but I don't want to raise kids with Octavia and Raven… I didn't sign up to do this with them." She places her hands on her belly, "And here we are, doing it all over again. This should be the happiest time of our lives, but I am sad, and mad, and upset all the time!" Clarke was trying not to yell she didn't want to wake the kids up.

"I am sorry Clarke I can't change it, not right now at least."

"You can, you don't want to!" Clarke yelled.

"That is not fair!" Lexa yelled.

"No what you are doing isn't fair Lexa!" Clarke got up walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Lexa asked.

"To the attic to paint I can't do this right now Lex."

* * *

Lexa woke to an empty bed she picked up her phone off her nightstand, 4:30AM. She wanted to get a run in before she left for work she needed to run. She hated fighting with Clarke and more than that she hated sleeping without Clarke. She knew that she was right but she had committed to Indra and Roan and she couldn't back out on her commitments now. It wasn't in her character it was part of the Military training instilled in her. Also part the way she was raised until her parents died that is. Once her mom and dad died in the plane crash she went to live with her uncle, Aden and aunt, Joan, where she got to be raised (or finished being raised) with Anya who is more her sister to this day then her cousin.

After she got dressed in her work out clothes and checked in on both her children she found Clarke asleep on the couch. She preset the coffee pot, grabbed her phone and headed out the door.

Instead of turning on her music like normal she found herself dialing her sister.

" _What the actual fuck do you want?_ " Anya answered.

"I am sorry I know it's early" Lexa said finding her pace.

" _What are you doing, running_?"

"Yes" Lexa said "I woke you I presume."

" _You think_?"

"You're always so fun in the morning" Lexa smirked.

" _You called me you don't get to complain Lex, what you need… or want_?"

"To talk…."

"Fine, hold on a second" Anya said Lexa could hear her getting up outta bed. "I am going to go talk to my fucking sister a minute. I will be right back… Okay go."

"Who were you talking to Anya?" Lexa smirked.

" _None of your god dammed business now speak Lex, or I am hanging up on you."_

"Clarke is mad at me."

" _I know._ " Anya said.

"Did she call you?"

" _Texted me last night..._ "

"I am trying Anya" Lexa said.

" _No you're not, that's bull shit and you know it Alexandria."_

Lexa winced a little at the use of her full name.

"I am!" Lexa tried.

" _You are burying yourself in your work you are slacking in the wife department, the mom department and that is not okay."_

"I am not trying to slack An I am just so busy at work right now."

" _Kids and family come first Lex_."

"I can't just not…"

" _You can"_ Anya quipped back.

"Anya this is my job, how I provide for my family!"

" _And you think not being around when Kate and Jake need you is providing what exactly?"_

"I will talk to Indra" Lexa sighed.

" _That's my girl_ " Lexa could hear the smile in her sisters voice _"Now as much as I love you little sister. I am going back to bed…"_

"Hey Anya?" Lexa asked.

" _Yeah Lexa?_ "

"Come over soon?"

" _I was there the other day Lex_."

"You were?" Lexa asked.

" _Yes Alexandria you work way too much_."

"You and my wife see each other way more than I am aware."

" _Yeppp_ " Anya said.

"Go back to sleep. I love you."

" _I love you too Lex, Kiss those babies for me_!"

"Will do kiss whoever's in your bed for me" Lexa grinned.

" _Will not_ …" Anya said _"Bye Lexa_."

"Bye Anya."

/

"Momma!" Kate said when Lexa got back into the house.

"Kate my girl!" Lexa picked up the little blonde whose hair was all askew from sleep and peppered her face with kisses. "I missed you."

"I miss you Momma!" Kate smiled.

Clarke was sitting on the couch with a blanket over her drinking a cup of coffee.

"Brother asleep still?" Lexa asked Clarke.

"Yes" Clarke nodded. "Was he up late?"

"A little, yeah we read three extra chapters of Treasure Island" Lexa told her.

"You were up early" Clarke said.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep anymore so I went for a run, talked to my sister." Lexa told her.

"What time are you going in this morning?" Clarke asked clearly not in the mood for small talk.

"I need to shower, and leave the house around 7:30."

"Can she shower with you?" She nodded towards Kate, she needs her hair washed and I was going to make breakfast."

"Sure" Lexa said kissing the little blonde on her hip "Wanna get clean with Momma?"

"Yes, I shower with you!" Kate said.

Clarke smiled at how happy her daughter was to be with her Mom. Lexa walked over and kissed Clarke "We'll be back I love you."

"Love you too" Clarke said.

* * *

Lexa walked into the office at a quarter to eight, Indra was at her desk.

"Hey" She said when she saw her.

"Hey Commander" Indra said.

"You have some time this morning in your schedule to talk?" Lexa asked.

"Of course, I have a conference call with the general in twenty five minutes is that enough time?

"I believe so" Lexa nodded.

"Your office or mine?" Indra asked.

"Let me drop my stuff and I will be right in" Lexa told her.

"Yes Ma'am" Indra said.

Lexa went into her office and dropped off her brief case and lunch that Clarke had made for her. Even when she is upset with her she made sure to make her breakfast in the morning and send her to work with a home packed lunch. She glanced at the family photo on her desk and then headed into Indra's office.

"Hey" Lexa says walking in.

"Commander, you look… tired" Indra said with a smirk.

"Yeah well, the wife and I are…" she sighed.

"Sit" Indra said dropping her formal voice. Besides business partners Lexa and Indra had always been friends.

"I am in the dog house because I have been working so much" Lexa said frankly.

"I see" Indra said.

"This morning was the first time I had seen my Kate awake in like five days."

Indra sighed "that's tough."

"And Clarke is struggling with work and the kids and balancing all of it without me all of the time. I have to figure out how to be home a few more nights a week, Indra." Lexa said crossing her hands over her lap.

"I just… right now before we get this team off to Syria I don't see us being able to cut much" Indra said honestly.

"I know it's busy but when we first started this we talked about me being done by five at least three nights a week" Lexa reminded her.

"And that is more than doable once we finish training this team. But to start Commander, you are the only person equipped to get them ready. This is our first mission and extremely important if we are going to have a continued partnership with the Marine Corps."

"I understand that Indra I do, but" She took a deep breath "Clarke is pregnant again and I just…"

"She is?" Indra smiled, "How far along?"

"Nearing three months now, and I just can't keep putting everything on her day in and day out; I need to lighten my load here some."

"Well let's look into what we can do we can conference call with Roan this week. It's not that I don't want to help Lexa, it's just right now your kinda indispensable right now."

"I understand" Lexa nodded.

* * *

Clarke was sitting on the bleachers watching Jake's baseball practice when she heard a familiar voice call out.

"Hey there" Anya said sitting down next to her.

"Hey Anya, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I was talking to Raven and she told me she has Kate and that you were here with Jake… So I came to check on you."

"Well I am glad to see you" Clarke smiled.

"How's it going blonde sister?"

Clarke laughed at the weird nickname Anya had been calling her for forever now.

"I don't really know how to answer that."

"I kinda figured since my sister called me at an ungodly hour" Anya rolled her eyes.

"I slept on the couch we had a huge fight. She told me she was trying-"

Anya laughed, "She told me the same thing, don't worry I called her out on that. She isn't trying Clarke."

"I KNOW!" Clarke said, "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, though I am not very thrilled to be right about that. So, hopefully it will get better if I did my big sister job right."

"She at least saw Kate this morning and spent some time with her, Jake was still asleep when she left but I am just glad Kate got to see her. You know it had been five days, since she had seen Kate awake? FIVE Anya!"

"Yeah that's not okay she asked me when I was going to come over this morning. And when I told her I was there the other day she was almost shocked."

"She would know these things if she was around" Clarke said. "Are you going to tell her about you and Raven?"

"Wha-Wait…What?" Anya asked trying to play it cool but failing miserably.

Clarke laughed, "Oh I am not stupid. I am very aware that my best friend and my sister in law are hooking up… and have been for a few months now."

"Did Raven tell you?" Anya asked.

"No, I just know these things" Clarke smirked.

"AUNTIE ANYA!" Jake said running over to them.

"Jake-ster, there is my boy!" She picked him up and swung him around.

"Can I come with you?" He asked her.

Anya looked to Clarke.

"Literally up to you Raven has Kate till seven, and if you want that monster I will go paint" She said.

"Well then yes, of course you can! Maybe we can even go meet up with your Auntie Rae-Rae and sister… we can go get pizza or something."

"YEAH!" Jake hollered.

Clarke winked at Anya at the mention of Raven.

"Why don't you call my sister and see if she wants to meet you for dinner later? Raven and I will keep then kids at my place" Anya said.

"I don't know, Anya" Clarke said reluctantly.

"I know Clarke, I do but I think you guys should talk."

"Okay, we'll see… thank you." She smiled.

"Be good for Auntie Anya, and Auntie Rae, okay?" She said to Jake.

"Of course" He smiled.

"Can I have a huge hug and kiss?" She asked.

"Yes" He said hugging her, "I love you Mom!"

"I love you Jacob!"

As Clarke watched her sister in law and son walk away she sent her wife a text.

 **Clarke: Your sister took Jake after baseball practice and Raven has Kate… Want to meet for dinner after work tonight? I miss you.**

* * *

Let me know what you thought if you want, you can comment, PM me or hit me up on Tumblr Clexagiraffesandbrittana319


	3. Shelf it, just for tonight

**Clarke: Your sister took Jake after baseball practice, and Raven has Kate. Want to meet for dinner after work tonight? I miss you.**

Lexa was sitting at her desk on a conference call with the General of the Marine Corps Ontari, Indra and Roan; when the text came through on her phone.

She checked the time and saw it was nearing five o'clock.

 **Lexa: Yes! I am finishing up a conference call with the General, Indra and Roan now. Then I can leave for the night… Do you want me to make reservations at Mount Weather?**

Lexa knew it might be a bit much but it was Clarke's very favorite place to eat. It was this really unique place that based their menu off the weather forecast for that week it was super hard to get into, almost under-ground-ish.

 **Clarke: Sounds good… if you can get us in. Anya offered to keep the kids so whatever you want.**

 **Lexa: I want you.**

 **Clarke: We still have a lot to talk about, Lex.**

 **Lexa: I understand that.**

 **Clarke: Okay, just let me know what time reservations are for when you make them.**

 **/**

When their conference call was over she headed to Indra's office, "My sister has the kids so I am going to head out early tonight and take my wife to dinner" Lexa said.

Indra nodded "All is well here shouldn't be an issue, have a good night Commander."

"You too Indra" She nodded and headed out the office door.

She went home to shower and get herself ready for their 7PM reservation she figured Clarke would be home, but she wasn't. So she sent her a quick text then hopped in the shower.

 **Lexa: Getting in the shower are you coming to the house or am I picking you up at the studio?**

Once she got out she checked her phone to see Clarke had responded.

 **Clarke: On a roll… just get me here? I will be ready.**

 **Lexa: Okay be there at 6:40 text when I get there.**

 **Clarke: Sounds good.**

Lexa walked into their closet loving that it smelled so much like Clarke. She touched some of her wife's clothes that were so nicely hung in color coated order, then coming to her side; she pulled down a pair of black skinny jeans a white tank top and a black suit jacket that fit her to a T. She knew Clarke loved her in a good suit or suit jacket. When grabbing her shoes she opted for the black high tops, maybe feeling a little nostalgic for her and Clarke's earlier day's right about now. Her curls were in their full glory as she ran her hands through them and pushed her hair over to the side so it was far parted. Her face bare besides some foundation and mascara which made her already big green eyes bigger.

Clarke knew she needed to put the pencil down she had been working on a graphite piece of Lexa not anything that was for her showing and she shouldn't be taking precious time she had kid free to draw for fun, but she just didn't care currently.

She checked her phone and saw it was 6:20 and knew she needed to change into the dress she brought. She put her sketch pad down and sent Anya a text to check on the kids before getting dressed.

 **Clarke: All okay? How are my babies? Lexa made reservations at Mount Weather and she is actually off work already. She will be here soon… I don't know if I want to talk about what needs to be talked about or just enjoy the night out with my wife whom I haven't seen in forever.**

She slipped out of her skinny jeans and old ratty T shirt and stepped into the dark navy dress and buttoned it high at the neck; it had a white collar with trim on it, and it was short and showed off her legs. She pulled her long wavy curls up into a messy but gorgeous ponytail and stepped into white wedges that strapped around her ankle.

She picked up her phone to check the time and saw two texts.

 **Lexa: On my way babe.**

 **Anya: Kids are fantastic we are at Chuck E Cheese! Have fun with your wife tonight.**

 **Clarke: I just… How do I just forget An?**

 **Anya: You don't… just shelf it for a few hours or for a night and enjoy sometime together. Kids are taken care of.  
** She attached a photo of Raven, Her, Jake and Kate eating pizza.  
 **We love you.**

 **Clarke: Best aunties EVER! love you too.**

 **Lexa: Here.**

Clarke took a deep breath "Shelf it" She said and headed towards the door.

She opened the car door and got into the front seat, damn her wife looked good. Those wild Lexa curls and that smile gave her butterflies.

"You look beautiful" Lexa said leaning in, "May I kiss you?"

"You haven't asked if you could kiss me since we were dating" Clarke said.

Lexa shrugged, "Well you haven't slept on the couch since we were dating."

This was true.

"Of course you can kiss me" Clarke said leaning in to meet Lexa's lips. It was soft and gentle and the first one in days. Clarke missed the feel of her lips pressed against her wife's "So… I know we have a lot to talk about, but I propose…"

"You're proposing again Clarke Abigail Woods! You took that away from me the first time and now you're doing it again?" Lexa pursed her lips.

"You are never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Um, that you found out I was going to propose and you wanted to do it, so you beat me to it on purpose? No, no I'm not."

"Okay well anyways," Clarke rolled her eyes. "I know we have things we need to talk about still but I _suggest"_ she smiled at herself with the word change "That we shelf it for tonight and just enjoy the evening… because it has been far too long since we have had an evening alone out."

"I agree" Lexa nodded "and I accept your proposal."

"Well at least this time you do" Clarke laughed.

"I only said no cause I wanted to ask!" Lexa smiled.

"Uh huh" Clarke said biting back her lower lip.

"Clarke!" Lexa said firmly.

"Yes?"

"Stop that!"

"Stop what?"

"That, the lip thing you know…" Lexa took a deep breath "You know what that does to me."

"I do" Clarke winked.

"That too, I swear we are going to skip this reservation and I am going to take you home and undress you!" Lexa said driving now keeping her eyes on the road.

"I'm not opposed to that it has been forever." Clarke shrugged.

"It has, huh?"

"Eight weeks" Clarke nodded.

"No!" Lexa said "Couldn't be that long!"

"Right after I told you I was pregnant… Octavia and Lincoln had the kids."

"CLARKE!" Lexa said shocked.

"Yes?"

"You are kidding me?" Lexa said.

"Nope you started work the next day we celebrated the baby and the new job" Clarke shrugged.

"We sure did celebrate didn't we?"

"In the kitchen, in the living room…" Clarke smiled.

"In the shower, in the closet" Lexa added grabbing her hand.

Silence.

"I am sorry Clarke."

"No sorries tonight, we need to talk still Lex… but not tonight." Clarke said.

/

They were sat at a table looking at the menus.

"What are you thinking?" Lexa asked.

"Butternut squash soup to start and then I think I am going to have the lamb chop with the parsnip puree."

"You're so glad it's cool tonight" Lexa smiled.

"Totally, what are you having?"

"The acorn squash salad with tri tips."

"Having wine?" Clarke asked.

"I think so, you?"

"Half glass yes." She nodded.

"Sounds good" Lexa said.

"Remember when I was pregnant with Jacob and you came home from work and I was having half a glass of Red and you FREAKED out on me?!"

"I didn't know it was okay!" Lexa said.

"So you called Dr. Franstine to check because you didn't believe me" Clarke shook her head with a smile.

"I just was… worried. How is this one going so far? I know I haven't asked much."

"You haven't been around" Clarke snipped... Her eyes widened. "I am sorry, I'm… I didn't mean too… I'm sorry."

"No, you're right and I understand" Lexa said "So I'm asking…"

"All is fine so far. Anya and I went to babies R us this week."

"Anya knows?" Lexa asked.

"Yes" Clarke nodded.

"Oh…" Lexa said "I didn't know."

"Just her, Rae, Octavia and my mom, I thought you did."

"I knew Raven, O and your mom knew…"

"Raven told Anya" Clarke said.

"Umm…" Lexa was clearly confused.

"Their seeing each other Lex" Clarke smiled.

"No way" Lexa said wide eyed. "How, when?"

"A few weeks at least, I noticed about a month ago. They were always talking or together. Once I dropped Kate off at Rae's and Anya brought her back and was like we had a great time… like I wouldn't pick up on anything."

"Are we… cool with this?"

"I think it's awesome" Clarke smiled.

"Me too, actually" Lexa smiled. "So you went to Babies R us already?"

"Yeah just after we got lunch on Wednesday while Kate was at Ballet class; I have a doctor's appointment on the 9th."

"Of September?"

"Yes, you know what date it is right Lex?"

"Yes, August 24th."

"Yes" Clarke smiled "get out your phone."

"Okay…" Lexa said hesitantly.

"Open up your calendar."

"Got it" Lexa nodded.

"This Friday the 26th is your son's first baseball game."

"That's already in there, thank you very much" Lexa stuck her tongue out.

"Good job!" Clarke winked "The 7th of august that is-"

"Oh I have plans that day" Lexa said looking up from her phone. "You see, there is this really hot artist in town and I am going to go to her showing and try and take her home with me" She winked.

"Okay, well I guess I will let that day slide" Clarke bit back her lower lip and smirked.

"Clarke!" Lexa warned.

"Yes?" Clarke asked with a sly smile then continued. "Then two days later we have the doctors for the baby."

"At what time?" Lexa asked.

"Four-thirty, it was as late as the Doc could see us so if you can't go I understand."

"Hush I will tell Indra about it now, I have already told her about the baby so I don't see that being a problem."

"Thank you" Clarke smiled.

"Don't thank me for that" Lexa said.

Dinner was perfect they went for a walk around downtown before heading back home. Clarke honestly didn't care about anything else but wanting Lexa right now, getting her home and outta those clothes that made her look so good. They had talked and laughed like they hadn't in months and Clarke was ecstatic to have her wife present.

"Baby?" Lexa asked as they walked in their front door.

"I have had a great night" Lexa said.

"It's not over" Clarke said with a smirk.

"Do you think we should talk now?" Lexa asked.

"Baby, it's been 8 weeks I don't want to talk to you. I want to feel you…. Please."

Lexa closed the gap between them, "You don't have to ask me twice Clarke."

Lexa pressed her lips to hers as she unbuttoned the single button at the top of her wife's dress pulling it down over her shoulders. Clarke helped by wiggling out of it, pulling at Lexa's jacket as her dress fell to the floor. Lexa shimmied out of her jacket as Clarke lifted her shirt up and over her head then grabbed her wife's hand and led her up the stairs to their bed room and shut the door.

"No one's home" Lexa giggled.

"Habit we have kids" Clarke smirked crashing her body back into Lexa's, Clarke's hands now working at the clasp of Lexa's bra. Once unhooked Lexa let it fall to the floor instantly and Clarke's mouth found a hardened nipple and sucked at it, Lexa let out a loud moan at the contact.

"Fuck Clarke!" She rasped.

Clarke's hands tried desperately to get Lexa's jeans unhooked but she was having a hard time concentrating as her mouth was working at Lexa's perfect breast, "Off" She said to Lexa.

Lexa smiled unbuttoning them and sliding them off with her underwear in one swoop once pants free she unclasped Clarke's bra and tossed it onto the floor with the other discarded clothes.

"Fuck Lex, how at 33 years old is your body still fucking perfect?" Clarke asked as her fingers ran over her perfectly toned stomach. "I am over here pregnant three times and-"

"Stop that, you are the sexiest fucking woman I have ever laid my eyes on." Lexa said getting onto her knees kissing Clarke's stomach all the way down gently over her sex and inner thighs.

"Fuck Lex" Clarke said throwing her head back. "You must not look in a mirror" She giggled. Lexa's kisses continued at Clarke's inner thighs, Clarke standing in front of her when she felt two of Lexa's fingers slide into her. "Jesus Lexa!" She moaned as her knees buckled. "Bed please, now!"

/

They were tangled in the sheets and each other Clarke lying on Lexa's bare chest, Lexa's hands running through blonde hair.

"I love you" Lexa said after what felt like a lifetime of silence.

"I love you too, Lex" Clarke said. "What time is it?"

"Ten thirty" Lexa kissed her head "Why what's up?"

"Nothing I just wanted to text Anya and Raven and check on the kids. I never confirmed we were leaving them all night."

"That's what you want to do right?"

"Yeah" Clarke kissed Lexa sitting up grabbing her phone.

"May I check mine?" Lexa asked, she hadn't touched it since they had been out.

"Yeah, go ahead" Clarke said sending a text to Anya.

 **Clarke: Hey, just confirming the kids are okay at your house over night? I will get them in the morning as long as that's cool?**

 **Anya: of course… text us in the morning when you're coming. They were great tonight by the way oh and Raven says she loves you!**

 **Clarke: I love you Rae! And thanks An, I love you too!**

Lexa looked at her phone and saw she had a few work emails she ignored them for the night but checked her texts.

 **Anya: Have a good time tonight sis, really try! I love you!**

She responded.

 **Lexa: We had a great time thank you for taking the kids. And tell Raven good night! ;)**

 **Anya: Yeah I figured Clarke would tell you. Love you!**

 **Lexa: Lunch SOON DETALS! Love you too!**

Then she had a message from Indra.

 **Indra: Hope your date night went well wanted to tell you, I need you to go to DC with me this Friday the 26** **th** **. Take tomorrow off; see you in the office on Thursday!**

"Shit" Lexa said to herself.


	4. Pinky Promises

The next day.

"What time do you want to get the kids?" Lexa asked walking into the kitchen.

"Well I am cooking us some breakfast right now and then I figured we could call your sister."

"And Raven" Lexa said with a wiggle of her eyebrows. "Do we not think this is weird?"

"I mean kinda I haven't talked to Rae yet, but I know Anya is super happy."

"Well that's all that matter really" Lexa said walking over and kissing Clarke. "I love you."

"I love you; I can't believe you have the day off today it's pretty incredible" Clarke said. "What do you want to do?"

 _Anything but tell you I have to go out of town on FIRDAY!_ Lexa thought to herself.

"I kinda wanted to take the kids school shopping" Lexa said. "I am not around much during awake hours right now to do that and I figured Jake starts—"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Clarke said putting her hands over her face.

"The first grade soon" Lexa smirked.

"Which I am trying to pretend isn't happening" Clarke said play swatting at her wife.

"I'm aware of that fact, but it is. And I really want to be there when he picks out his back pack and school stuff, so what do you think?"

"I'm okay with that" the blonde nodded.

"And we need to get Kate some stuff because she is going to go to" Lexa laughed as her wife winced, knowing the words that were coming "to preschool three days a week."

"Again I am pretending like-"

"I know" Lexa kissed her wife's head. "What are you making?"

"Just frittatas" Clarke relaxed in her wife's arms glad for the subject change.

"Just!" Lexa laughed, "You're such a good cook Clarke."

"Thank you" Clarke kissed her, "Wanna grab Juice and I will meet you at the table."

"Sounds perfect" Lexa said.

"When was the last time we had breakfast just us?" Clarke asked setting the plates down at their table.

"I can't even remember" Lexa shook her head. "It's quiet…"

"I know I miss the kids, I mean this is nice but…"

"Me too" Lexa said. "I miss them a lot now I'm glad I get the day with the three of you."

"Me too" Clarke light up "After we go to the store, we should go head to the park or something for a little bit it's supposed to be nice out and Jacob and Kate would love it!"

"Agreed" Lexa smiled "This looks great, thank you baby!"

"Of course Lex."

/

After they ate breakfast they snuggled on the couch for a little bit.

"We should call Anya" Lexa said.

"Your right" Clarke kissed her sitting up grabbing her phone off the coffee table. "I'll put it on speaker."

The phone rang a moment then Raven answered.

" _So, why does no one call my phone? You know I am here too!" Raven snarked into the phone._

"I didn't actually I figured you would be at the lab already." Clarke smiled.

"Hi Raven!" Lexa said loudly.

" _Hey Lexi!"_ Raven said back just as loud.

"I miss you!" Lexa said.

" _Well if you would stop working so much…"_

"Touché" Lexa said. "How were my babies?"

" _Pretty good… we had a bit of a… situation." Raven said._

" _We will tell you about it when you get here"_ Anya said in the background clearly on speaker as well.

"Wait, no! What?" Clarke asked, "Who?"

" _Kate"_ Raven said, _"Hold on let me put shoes on and go get something out of my car…"_

Lexa and Clarke both looked at each other not knowing what had happened and both a little worried.

" _It's not a big deal!"_ Anya yelled.

" _I know"_ Raven said _, "But they need to know."_

" _And we can tell them when they get here"_ Anya said.

" _It's fine"_ Raven said. A pause, then the girls heard a door open and shut. _"Okay, you there?"_

"Yeah, what's up?" Lexa asked.

" _Kate wet the bed."_

Clarke just looked at Lexa.

"That's weird" Lexa said, "She hasn't done that in almost a year."

Clarke shrugged.

" _It's not a big deal we just wanted you to know… she was clearly having a night terror when it happened."_

"A night terror?" Lexa asked concerned.

" _Just a bad dream" Raven said. "I got her changed and the sheets off the bed and we all moved to the"_

"Shit, in your bed?" Clarke asked "I'm sorry."

" _Well technically Anya's but yeah… and it's ok. We just wanted you to be aware it happened because we're aware it's unusual… But didn't want to tell you in front of her, she kinda… freaked out."_

"She did?" Lexa asked.

" _Yeah, took me a while to settle her back down."_

"Was she asking for Lex?" Clarke asked.

" _Yeah… she kept crying for Momma" Raven said._

"Me?" Lexa asked.

Clarke just nodded to her wife.

"Okay, well thanks for telling us we are getting ready right now to head that way."

" _Okay perfect" Raven said "we will see you soon."_

"Love you Rae, thanks again."

"Yeah thanks Raven" Lexa said.

" _Anytime really."_

Clarke hung up and Lexa sat up, "That isn't the first time, that's happened huh?"

"No" Clarke shook her head.

"When did it start?"

"The night before last it's only happened the one other time same thing, she woke up screaming for you and had wet the bed."

"Fuck" Lexa shook her head.

"It's okay Lexa" Clarke ran her hands through her wife's chestnut curls.

"It's not Clarke, I talked to Indra… I can't really cut back much if any at all until we get this team to Syria" Lexa said.

"Why?"

"Because I am the one who has to prepare them, train them."

"There has to be someone else, Lexa?" Clarke said getting agitated.

"There isn't I don't think" Lexa shook her head.

"That's shit, Lex!"

"I know, I know it is!" Lexa said "I don't want to fight Clarke, Please? I talked to Indra… I told her what was going on. She said we could conference call with Roan this week to try and figure out something. But she just didn't see much wiggle room, until after. But I am trying… I promise."

"Okay" Clarke said clearly still not happy.

"I'm sorry" Lexa said.

"Okay, Lexa" Clarke said not wanting to fight with her wife today.

/

"Hello" Anya said opening the door.

"MOMMA!" Kate said running to Lexa.

"Hi my girl" Lexa said scooping the little Clarke look alike up and kissing her head. "Momma missed you."

"I miss you too Momma. I had fun with Annie Rae and Annie Yaya"

"Yeah? I am so glad! Thank you" Lexa hugged Anya.

"Of course" Anya said hugging Lexa then Clarke.

"Where is Rae and Jacob?" Clarke asked.

"Sun room, playing with some mechanical hand that Raven brought home from work."

"Home?" Lexa asked.

"You know what I mean" Anya rolled her eyes.

"I am going to go see them" Clarke said. "Do you wanna come Kate?"

"No, Stay with Momma" Kate said.

"Come sit" Anya said to Lexa.

Lexa walked over to the couch with Kate in her hands and Clarke disappeared into the back of the house.

"So, how were things?" Anya asked.

"Good" Lexa smiled.

"Good, or _Good?"_ Anya asked.

"The latter until this morning" Lexa sighed.

"Oh no, what happened this morning?" Anya asked.

"Clarke told me last night wasn't a first offense for this one" She motioned to Kate content curled up on her lap. "And the first time it happened she woke up screaming for me too. I think it's her change in routine, with me being gone so much."

"Yeah" Anya nodded.

"Thank you Anya" Lexa said.

"What! I didn't do anything" Anya said.

"Including try to make me feel any better about the situation" Lexa said.

"I can't do that Lex, she talked about you ALL night… asked about you, wanted you. I'm sorry I am not team Lexa or even team Clarke on this one, I am team Woods Kids."

"That's me! Kate Ab-gail Woods" Kate smiled.

"Ab-a-gail" Lexa said.

"Ab-a-gail" Kate repeated her mother correctly.

"Yes, ma'am!" Anya said, "That is right see she gets it."

"Well, I have to tell my wife something that is going to really piss her off." Lexa said.

"Is it going to piss me off too?" Anya asked.

"Most definitely" Lexa nodded.

"Good god Lexa… okay tell me."

"I have to…" she looked around her shoulder "Go to DC on Friday" she whispered.

"Oh Fu—uge no!" Anya said, catching herself from swearing since her niece was sitting right there.

"Rae!" Anya hollered.

"Yeah babe!" Raven came out.

"Please take Kate, I have to take my moron sister outside really fast… and beat her." Anya said.

"Check" Raven said picking Kate up off Lexa's lap.

"Momma will be right back" Lexa kissed Kate. "Hey Raven."

"Hi Lexa, bye Lexa" Raven said hurrying back to where she came from.

"Let's go. Now." Anya said.

Lexa followed Anya out to the garage and as soon as the door shut Anya turned around with her hands on her hips and that look in her eyes Lexa knew all too well.

"Alexandria, you can't go to DC! You have to get out of it, cancel! That boy has been talking about that game since he got into my car yesterday and how much he hoped his Momma was going to be there to watch him pitch his first game. If you let that little boy down Alexandria, I swear! And Clarke! You've been on thin ice with her and if she doesn't put you in the dog house, I will."

"Anya…" Lexa said not able to look her sister in the eyes because she knew she was right.

"NO LEXA, NO EXCUSES!"

"I can't cancel this meeting… at least I don't think I can. Don't you think if there was any way if there IS any way that I am going to do it? I got a text message last night from Indra telling me to take the day off today and that she needed me t go to DC with her Friday morning."

"Well then you better either make sure you are back in time for that game or tell her you can't go!" Anya said.

"I am going to figure it out tomorrow" Lexa said.

"And tell Clarke when?"

"As soon as I know what to tell her" Lexa said. "We have family plans today and I don't want to ruin that with another big fight."

"You better fucking make it work Alex" Anya said.

Lexa was a little taken aback by the nickname her sister hadn't used in decades.

"I will Anya… I will."

"DO NOT MISS THAT LITTLE BOYS GAME" Anya said.

"I will do my best" Lexa said sincerely.

"No, Lexa that is not good enough!"

"Anya…"

"Lexa!"

"Okay" Lexa said "I won't miss it."

"Pinky" Anya said, holding out her pinky like she and Lexa used to do when they were little girls.

"Anya…"

"Lexa!" Anya said glaring at her.

Lexa sighed and linked her pinky with her sister's "Happy?" Lexa asked.

"Not even a little bit, but I will be happy when you are sitting next to me on those uncomfortable bleachers on Friday" Anya said.

/

"Ready?" Clarke asked when they walked back into the house.

"I am" Lexa nodded "Where is our son?"

"Waiting in the sunroom for you to come get him" Clarke smiled.

Lexa scrunched down and stalked through the halls, clearly sneaking, when she got to the door of the sun room she could see Jacob sitting on one of the chairs, drawing. Such a little Clarke… She initially wanted to run up on him and scare him but she found herself just standing there, in the doorway watching him. Until he looked up and saw her.

"Momma!" He said his little face lighting up.

Unlike his sister he had green eyes and darker hair, though still on the blonde side. The donor that Clarke and she had picked had green eyes and brown hair, in hopes that the kids came out looking somewhat like a cross between Clarke and Lexa. Besides Jacob's Green eyes though, they had no such luck. Which is why this time Clarke insisted on carrying Lexa's eggs, she said she wanted a little Lexa though Lexa was fine with a tribe of Clarke's running around.

"Hi son" She smiled, "You drawing?"

"Yeah just a pencil sketch, it's not very good" He shrugged.

"Can I see?" She asked.

He nodded and handed her the paper it was a sketch, a quite detailed one at that of a dragon. He was wrong it was very good. Jacob had taken up his Mom's love for art young and really did have a knack for it, like her wife did.

"Why a dragon bud?" She asked him.

"I don't know? I think their cool, I have always kind of felt like a fighter who would have a sword and fight off dragons, like this guy…" he said handing her another sheet of paper this one of a little guy about his age, dressed in all black with torn clothes, but he looked distinguished still. He had war paint on his face and was dirty looking from fighting.

"These are amazing Jake" Lexa said running her fingers over the paper.

"Thanks Momma, I am not as good as Mommy, but…"

"You are five Jacob…"

"Almost six" he smiled.

"Almost six" Lexa smiled.

"Do you have to go to work today?" He asked her.

"Nope, you, Kate, Mom and I are going to go school shopping and then to the park."

"Yes" He said excited. "That makes me happy cause I have missed you Momma."

"I have missed you Jacob" She kissed the little boys head.

"You'll be at my game right?" he asked.

Lexa took a deep breath "Yes buddy, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

/


	5. Mom logic

Mom Logic

The Woods family had had a great day after they left Anya's they headed for Target, and started there before they hit the mall and a few other places. Both kids got their backpacks Jacob settled on the Hulk and Kate got a Princess Ariel one. After Clarke and Lexa made sure that both kids had everything they needed on their required AND recommended school list, Clarke went a little nuts with new school clothes. She knew it was only because Lexa was there egging her on to 'get whatever she wanted' because normally she was really good at reserving herself when spending money. Unlike her wife who went a little crazy and let the kids pick out way too many toys this trip. Clarke knew it was because she felt guilty for not being around so much lately and even though she wasn't thrilled over Lexa going hog wild with gifts to try and make up for it, she didn't want to fight with her wife.

Now Clarke was nearly done with dinner and Lexa was playing with the kids downstairs in their playroom.

"Lex, baby" Clarke said pressing the intercom button. She had told Lexa a thousand and one times when they were building the house she didn't want an intercom system and didn't see the point. But with the house being so large it really came in handy. Plus she could listen in on the kids at night and they never needed a baby monitor.

"Yes dear?" Lexa said back a moment later.

"Could you get the kids washed up for dinner, I am getting ready to plate."

"Sure can" Lexa said, "I love you."

"I love you too" Clarke said.

A moment later the intercom beeped and she heard movement "I love you mom!" Kates little voice filled the room.

"I love you Kate" Clarke smiled.

A few minutes later she could hear the little footsteps coming up the stairs and then saw her kids running around the corner followed by her wife walking behind them.

"Walk please" Lexa said firmly.

"Sorry momma" Jacob said, "What's for dinner Mom?" he asked Clarke.

"Chicken and rice with broccoli" Clarke told him.

"I don't want-"

"Ah ah ah" Lexa said interrupting the young boy, "Your mother made dinner, what's the rule?" She asked.

"I have to at least have three bites of everything on my plate" Jacob said, "Unless it's a new food, then I just have to try it."

"Exactly" Lexa nodded.

"Nothing on your plate is new, and you like broccoli" She told him.

"I love bocli" Kate smiled.

"Bro-cco-li" Lexa said to her.

"I know you do Kate" Clarke smiled.

"I don't," Jake said crossing his arms with a brow furrow starting.

"Jacob Griffin Woods" Lexa said giving him a look that let him know just what she meant.

"Sorry Momma."

"What can I get you to drink?" Lexa looked to him.

"Milk, please" He said.

"Sister?" Lexa asked.

"Water" Kate said.

"What do you say?" Lexa asked the little girl.

"Please" Kate said.

"Okay, why don't you both sit in your chairs and your mom and I will be right there." Lexa said.

Just a moment later they were all seated around their family table.

"So, who wants to start?" Clarke asked bringing up the family tradition at dinner.

"Oh me, me!" Kate said.

"Okay Miss Kate" Clarke said taking a bite of her food.

"My favorite part of day, was…." She thought for a second "that I got five new babies!" She held up four fingers.

"One more" Clarke said gesturing to her hand and Kate added her last finger.

"Good girl! Okay, Jacob you want to go next?" Clarke asked him.

He nodded, "My favorite part of today was that I got to spend it with both my mom's."

Clarke looked to Lexa and the soft smile that spread across her face was perfect, even her green eyes were smiling.

"I had a great day with you all too" Lexa said.

"What was best part?" Kate asked her.

"The park I think" Lexa said, "I liked pushing you guys on the swings and playing hide and go seek all together."

"So fun" Kate said.

"I can't believe you hid in that tree Momma" Jacob laughed.

"I can" Clarke laughed.

"Your turn, Mom" Lexa looked to Clarke.

"My favorite part of the day is right now…" Clarke said looking at all the smiles at the table. "Sitting down and eating dinner all together and remembering all the fun we had today."

/

A few hours later all of them were snuggled on the couch watching a little TV as a family when Clarke glanced at the time. It was after nine and well passed the kids bed time, so Clarke picked up her phone and sent lexa a text.

 **Clarke: Should we start bedtime… it's after nine already.**

 **Lexa: I didn't even notice yes… Mind if I put them down tonight?**

 **Clarke: Not at all. I am going to shower and then go read in bed. Meet you there?**

 **Lexa: Sounds great.**

"Okay guys" Lexa spoke, turning off the tv. "Kiss you Mom goodnight then we are going to head up stairs and read stories and go to bed."

"Okay" Kate said snuggling into Clarke kissing her "I love you."

"I love you Kate, I will see you in the morning. Sleep sweet, goodnight."

As soon as Kate got off of her Mom Jacob was standing there waiting his turn. "Come here buddy" She said opening her arms.

He climbed into her lap "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, so much" He said then kissed her cheek.

She melted a little inside.

"I love you too Jacob, Sweet dreams I will see you in the morning."

"Will you come cuddle me awake in the morning?" he asked her.

"Of course" she smiled.

"Come on" Lexa said, nodding towards the stairs.

"I will see you soon" Clarke said to her wife.

"You will" Lexa smiled following her children up the stairs.

/

Lexa looked down at both kids asleep on her, she knew she should have put Kate in her bed sooner and not lay with them so long but it really was a purely selfish move. She kissed Jacob and got out of his bed scooping up Kate taking her to her room. "I love you" She whispered as she laid her down.

When she got into her room, Clarke was curled up under the covers with her side light on reading. She took a deep breath she had been standing there longer than she intended but she was working up the courage to tell Clarke about DC. She decided earlier that day she was going to, that she needed to. How she is going to make it work and talk to Indra. How she will either be back or not go at all but she will be at Jakes game.

"What?" Clarke said pulling her out of her trance.

"Nothing, you're just simply stunning" Lexa said walking across the room.

Clarke just rolled her eyes "Kids take a while to go down tonight?"

"No" Lexa said sliding under the covers "I just, wanted to snuggle them a bit longer."

"Understandable, I had a great day Lex" Clarke pulled her in for a kiss.

"Me too" Lexa said as they pulled apart but Clarke didn't let her pull away for long, grabbing her shirt and bringing her lips back to hers, kissing her deeper this time Clarke pulled them down into a laying position switching the light off as they went.

 _Maybe tomorrow_ Lexa thought.

/

After a long morning of goodbyes and Kate crying for her not to go which just about broke her heart, Lexa arrived at work.

Indra was in her office door open and not on the phone, so she knew this was her moment. She didn't even set anything down just headed straight into Indra's office and sat down.

"We have to talk" Lexa said.

"Morning, commander" Indra said.

"Sorry, good morning" Lexa said, "We have to talk."

"You said that" Indra nodded. "What's up?"

"I can't go to DC tomorrow Indra."

"Lexa" Indra spoke.

"No Indra, I can't its Jake's first baseball game of the season tomorrow well it's more than that actually... It's his first game of actual baseball tomorrow, first non t-ball and I can't miss it for some meeting."

"Lexa this isn't just some meeting" Indra said "This is final prep with Roan, General Ontari, and the Syria team is going to be on video chat."

"Then why can't I be on video chat?"

"Because you are this meeting, because these plans this mission it's yours."

"Then shouldn't I have set this meeting?" Lexa asked.

"You weren't here when the call came in Commander."

"Then I should have been contacted, Indra. Any day would have worked literally ANY day besides tomorrow. Next week wide open, the week after as well. In fact I don't have anything personal happening for the next three weeks."

"I am sorry" Indra said "There is nothing I can do now, it's already in play."

"Then it needs to either A. happen without me. B. Get moved to another day, literally any other day. C. Conference call me, video chat me in whatever. OR last and final option, Reschedule it for morning and be DAMNED SURE WE ARE DONE BY NOON BECAUSE I WILL NOT MISS MY SONS GAME." She wasn't yelling but her commanding voice was definitely out.

"With all due respect, Lexa" Indra said her name sure to be sure Lexa was aware she was challenging her. "You are not IN CHARGE here, we are a team and the meeting is set."

"THEN IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN WITH OUT ME" Lexa said standing up to exit the office, "Your choice Colonel I have told you my options, ball is in your court."

Lexa was fuming she hated this having to juggle work and family and was so pissed that no one consulted her about this meeting and just scheduled it. She didn't know what she was going to do to be honest because as much as she just didn't want to go, Indra was right that really wasn't an option when so many people were counting on her for this meeting since she did hold all the keys. But then again, Jacob and Clarke were counting on her too and her family was the most important thing in her life.

"FUCK!" She huffed.

/

"Kate, stay where I can see you" Clarke yelled.

"Yes Mommy!" The little blonde hollered back, "Just going to play with Jake right here."

"Jake, watch your sister please!"

"Yes Mom" Jacob said.

"I don't know why you're so concerned we are in your back yard" Raven said.

"Which there is five acers of and god knows what out past where I can't see" Clarke said and raven shrugged, "and she is three Rae!"

"Okay geese you don't have to go using your mom logic on me" Raven laughed. "So how are things with Lexa?"

"Seem to be okay… better" Clarke said "We had a great day yesterday."

"Good! So I assume she got DC covered then?"

"DC?" Clarke asked. "What?"

"Um, nothing" Raven said. "I may not know what I am saying…" she looked around "Kate, Jake!"

"Don't even try, their right there" Clarke pointed. "Now what the fuck do you know Rae?"

"Ugh, fine…" Raven sighed, "LexahastogotoDContomorrowanddidntknowifshewouldbebackforthegameornot" she said as fast as she could in one breath.

"Wait, what?! You better not have said what I think you did!"

"Lexa told Anya she has to go to DC tomorrow…"

"Yep… that's what I thought you said" Clarke shook her head "Fucking fuck, Alexandria!"

"Woah, I don't think I've ever heard you call her that" Raven said.

"You're not normally around when I'm this upset with her … when did she tell Anya?"

Raven just winced.

"Raven!"

"Yesterday when you guys were at the house."

"Fucking Shit" Clarke smacked the table then picked up her cell.

"What-what are you doing?" Raven asked nervous.

"Texting my wife!"

"Ummm…"

"Don't Rae" Clarke held up her hand "This is not your fault, this is hers."

 **Clarke: ALEXANDRIA FUCKING TAYLOR WOODS… YOU HAVE SOME MAJOR FUCKING EXPLAINING TO DO! I'M LIVID.**

"You say that, but I am the one who told you…" Raven said.

"And she should have" Clarke said "Which is why I'm SO pissed!"

"I think she was trying to figure it out..." Raven shrugged.

"Well I should've gotten to be a part of that process, or at least been informed on what was going on.

 **Lexa: Ummm…**

"Of course, Lexa play fucking dumb!" Clarke said to her phone typing out a text.

 **Clarke: WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THAT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO BE AT JACOB'S GAME AND WERE GOING TO BE IN DC? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SITTING ON THIS INFORMATION, LEXA? YOU DO KNOW HE THINKS YOUR COMING RIGHT? BECAUSE YOU TOLD HIM YOU WOULD BE THERE, DAMMIT LEX!**

Her phone rang almost instantly "I got to go inside so the kids don't hear me, can you please just be sure they stay in eyesight?"

"Of course" Raven said.

Clarke stood up and headed into the house.

"WHAT, LEXA?"

" _How did you find out?"_

"SERIOUSLY? THAT IS WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT?" Clarke was livid.

" _No, I am sorry… I was going to tell you."_

"WHEN?"

" _Last night…" Lexa said._

"When before or after you made me come three times?"

" _THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Lexa's voice now rose too._

"NO, YOU KNOW WHAT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR ALEXANDRIA, THAT YOU ARE GOING TO MISS THAT LITTLE BOYS FIRST GAME!"

" _I AM GOING TO BE AT HIS GAME!" LEXA SCREAMED._

"HOW CAN YOU BE IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE LEXA? EXPLAIN THAT TO ME, PLEASE?"

" _IF I go to DC I will be back in time."_ Lexa said letting her voice fall back to normal level.

"HOW… HOW CAN YOU PROMISE THAT? YOU KNOW HOW TRAFFIC CAN BE LET ALONE HOW YOUR WORK CAN BE!"

" _I AM NOT GOING TO MISS IT CLARKE! HAVE A LITTLE FUCKING FAITH IN ME, PLEASE."_

"IT'S REALLY FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW, LEXA!"

" _WOW, CLARKE. WOW."_

Silence.

"I gotta go, the kids are outside playing and Raven is watching them..."

" _Raven is there?"_ Lexa asked her voice softer again.

"Yes, Lexa… Raven is here. She told me, but don't you think for a second you can be mad at-"

" _No, no… I'm not... Can… can you have her watch the kids for like an hour and come to my work, we can talk?"_

"NO Lexa, I don't think so."

" _Why?"_ Lexa asked.

"Because I don't really want to talk to you right now" Clarke said.

" _Oh, okay… Well then I will see you when I get home."_

"Okay" Clarke said.

" _Bye"_ Lexa said.

And Clarke just hung up the phone.

/

9PM

Lexa came into the house not wanting to fight with Clarke and just wanting to make it better. But she knew that the time she was getting home may make that harder. She walked through the kitchen and noticed the plate of dinner covered with foil with a note on it.

 _Eat me…Heat in microwave for 2 minutes._

She was starving she removed the foil to see roasted veggies and pasta. She smiled as she put it into the microwave noting that Clarke took such good care of her even when they were fighting. Most wives of her Marine buddies she could think of wouldn't have done the same; she really did need to fix this. She ate faster than she should've not realizing how hungry she was, she didn't even sit down. As she walked up the stairs she looked in at each of her children as she always did when she got home after they had already gone to bed. She got to her bedroom door which was shut and took a deep breath preparing herself for whatever was behind it. She had done three tours when she was in the Marines and still this made her stomach drop more than the thought of all three of them put together right now.

"Hey" She said as she pushed the door opened.

Clarke didn't say anything she just glared at her.

"Clarke" She spoke softly as she walked towards the blonde's side of the bed.

"Don't Lexa!" Clarke moved, as her wife stretched out her hand to touch her shoulder.

"Clarke…"

"No" Was all she said.

"I got tomorrow figured out" Lexa said, "I will be going to DC at 4:30 AM and be on my way home by noon; I will be at his game Clarke."

"Okay."

"I will be" Lexa said again.

"Okay" Clarke repeated.

"Are you not going to talk to me?"

"I don't have anything else to say…"

"Okay" Lexa sighed. "Good night Clarke, I love you."

/


	6. Chocolate Milk

It was three ten am when Clarke heard Lexa get out of bed and slip into the bathroom. She listened to the shower run and then the soft sounds of Lexa getting ready in the light of their huge walk in closet. The door to it shut so she didn't wake Clarke. When Lexa came out and kissed Clarke on the forehead she laid still never opening her eyes even as her wife whispered, 'I love you Clarke' then slipped out the door.

It took a few minutes for her to hear the front door shut and Lexa's car pull out of the driveway but as soon as she did she got up. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep anymore now. Her morning routine resembled her wife's nearly to the Tee. Besides the fact that Clarke took a twenty minute shower instead of Lexa's precise seven minute one, when she got out she towel dried her hair and got dressed in a pair of jogger's and one of Lexa's old USMC sweatshirts.

As she headed down the stairs she checked in on each of her kids, both still passed out. Hopefully they would stay that way for a while seeing as it was only four in the morning. Once she got to the kitchen she noticed that Lexa had left the pot of coffee on for her and a note near her usual cup that Lexa had made for her from Kate and Jake a few mother's days ago with their hand prints, which was out by the pot.

 _Clarke,_

 _I know you'll be up early… I am sorry… I will be at his game. I promise you._

 _I love you babe._

 _Lexa_

"You better be there Lex" she said aloud pouring herself a cup of coffee and headed back upstairs, this time passing their bedroom and moving up one more floor to her art room.

She flipped the light on and set her coffee down on the table next to her easel. Noting the last piece she had been working on in here was one of Lexa, her normal go to when she drew or painted for fun. She grabbed a fresh canvas and picked up a paint brush thinking, then moved back to her paint selections decided on her colors. Glancing over at the time as she thought about what she wants to start, then reached over to the wall where the intercom and pressed the 3 and 4, activating her kids rooms. So if she got lost in her 'painting trance' she would hear them when they wake.

/

Lexa yawned and sipped her coffee. She kept checking her phone like she expected something to be on it. There wasn't of course except work emails which she was choosing to ignore. She was nearing DC, now in the back of the car she had Theo drive her as he normally did when she had business in the City.

"How much longer?" She asked picking up her phone once more.

"About thirty minutes with the traffic ahead" Theo told her.

"I need you to be outside and ready to leave at eleven-thirty. I will be out by eleven-forty five, noon at the very latest."

"Yes Ma'am" Theo nodded into the review mirror.

"Drop the Ma'am crap Thelonious… I have to be at Grayson Park by four-thirty, do you think with traffic and all…"

"Without a doubt" Theo assured her.

It was only a two hour drive without traffic, but getting out of DC alone could take an hour sometimes. "Okay, I just don't want to risk anything" Lexa said.

"As long as you're in my car by noon I doubt we will have any risks at all" He said.

"Thank you, Thelonious" Lexa said.

"Of course Lexa" He smiled.

Lexa checked her phone again and saw nothing, so instead she dialed a number.

" _We really need to work on appropriate times… Alexandria."_ Anya said.

Lexa could tell she was awake.

"At least you were awake this time" She smiled.

" _I am, just having my cup of coffee before I leave the house for work."_

"Raven there?"

" _No, she doesn't live here Lexa."_

"Just asking" Lexa smirked.

" _So what is this call for, aren't you almost to DC by now?"_

"You have been talking to my wife haven't you?" Lexa asked knowing she must have been because she hadn't told anyone else she was going to DC so early.

" _I have, she texted me about Five this morning."_

"And you say I need to work on my timing…"

" _Alex… point…" Anya said._

"Sorry, yeah I am nearly to DC."

" _You better make it Lexa."_

"I will" Lexa said. "I will."

" _Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"_

"I will be there Anya" Lexa said, trying to make her voice sound sure this time.

" _Okay… so why the call at almost six AM then?" Anya asked._

"I don't know… she's just… so mad at me, Anya…"

" _Yeah, she is" Anya said._

"I don't know how to fix it…"

" _You do, Lex."_

"I don't know how to fix it and still put in the time I need to at my job." Lexa sighed.

" _Ah there lies your problem" Anya said._

"It's just a few more months and it's important…" Lexa said.

" _What's more important Lexa?"_

"You know the answer to that Anya"

" _Yeah I do, but do you Lex?"_

"Yes."

" _Then fix it"_ Anya said.

Silence.

" _Hey kid?_ " Anya asked.

"Yeah?" Lexa said.

" _I love you, ya know that?"_

"I love you too" Lexa said.

/

"Mommy" Clarke heard the little voice filling her art studio she knew she was up.

She pressed the button to Kate's room "I am in my art room Kate, Come up here baby."

She sat there a moment wondering if Kate would cry or make her way up the stairs it was a 50/50 chance. When she didn't hear her cry she figured she was on her way and her suspicions were confirmed when a few moments later the little blonde appeared next to her.

"Hi" Kate smiled sleepily.

"Hi my love" Clarke said pulling the little girl up into her lap kissing her head. "How did you sleep?"

"Good, Momma come in room… was still dark" Kate yawned.

"Yeah, did she kiss you bye-bye?" Clarke asked.

"Yes, I went back sleep."

"Good, I am glad."

"I hungry" She said.

"Okay let's go get you some breakfast" She stood up putting Kate down, "Hold my hand?"

"Would you like eggs?" Clarke asked when they got into the kitchen.

"Yes, please" Kate nodded "Sit up there?" She pointed to the island. Clarke often let her sit up there when she cooked, though Lexa hated it. She was a lot more relaxed when it came to things like that and Kate liked to watch her cook.

"Sure" Clarke said lifting her up "Criss-cross"

"Apple sauce" Kate finished.

"Hands…"

"In my lap" Kate giggled.

"Good girl, that way you're safe up there. Want some milk?"

"Chocolate Please?"

"Kate…" Clarke went to tell her know that she could only have white milk then thought to hell with it. "Sure, you may have chocolate." Clarke got her a new sippy and filled it with chocolate milk and handed it to her daughter, when she head another little voice from behind her. "May I have some?" He asked.

"Of course, good morning Jake" She smiled at him.

"Morning Mom"

Clarke made him a cup and handed it off, he walked over to the barstool and sat on the other side of the island "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did momma leave so early?" Jacob asked.

"She had to go to DC for a work meeting" Clarke told him.

"Will she be back here in time for my game?"

"I think so Jacob" Clarke said honestly.

"Okay, because she said she would be there" he said.

"I know honey and I know she really wants to be okay? But this work meeting came up at the last minute, so if she doesn't make it it's not because she doesn't want to be there, alright?"

"Okay" He nodded.

"But I know she is going to try really hard, okay?" Clarke looked at him.

Jake smiled. "Okay…"

You know who is coming into town today?" Clarke asked both the kids as she cracked eggs.

"Who?" Kate asked.

"Nanna" Clarke told them.

"Nanna!" Kate said excited.

"Is she coming to our house?" Jake asked.

"Yes she will be here in about an hour; she will be here all weekend she is staying in a hotel so I think tonight you guys are going to spend the night there with her."

"Oh cool!" Jake said.

Clarke and Lexa normally just had Abby stay at the house with them since there was more than enough room but, with everything going on with Lexa and her Clarke thought maybe it was better for Abby to stay in a hotel this time around. Abby always suggested it when she came and this time when she did, she said that she could take the kids back to the hotel so she and Lexa could talk. Clarke knew right then Abby could sense something was going on even though she hadn't told her anything yet.

"Yeah so after breakfast we need to take bath's and get ready." Clarke told them.

/

10am

"Hi mom" Clarke said as Abby walked in the door.

"Nanna" Jacob said excited to see her as it had been nearly four months. Though she lived in New York City which wasn't that far of a trip, Abby was very busy as a trauma surgeon.

"There's my Jacob" Abby said enveloping Jacob in a hug, "Oh I have missed those hugs."

"I missed you Nana" He said.

"Where is sister?"

"Napping" Clarke said. "She tried so hard to stay awake for you but she just couldn't. I don't think she slept great this morning, Lexa woke her up at four am on accident."

"Oh wow" Abby said.

"It's better this way anyhow though if she gets in an early nap she will be happy and awake all day" Clarke said.

Abby took Clarke into an embrace "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay" Clarke nodded, though she knew she could lose it right there in the comfort of her mom's arms.

"And this one?"

"Great so far" She said.

"Good" Abby said, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too mom."

Though Clarke and her mother's relationship hadn't always been amazing, there for a while it just was nonexistent right before she started dating Lexa. They were very close again and Lexa was a big part of that. That and the fact that once Clarke had kids of her own she realized just how much she needed and respected Abby.

"How is Lex?" Abby asked.

"New subject" Clarke smiled looking at Jacob.

"Okay, where is Lex?"

"DC!" Jacob said, "For work she had a meeting. She is going to be at my game still I think but if she isn't I know she tried."

"Oh I see" Abby nodded.

"Yep" Clarke nodded with a smile Abby could read all too well.

"So this little man has a date with his Auntie Octavia this morning, it's been set for weeks and I didn't want to cancel" She said to her mom.

"More than okay" Abby said. "Am I taking them tonight?"

"That's the plan as long as you want to."

"Well of course, I do. What are you doing with your Auntie O?" She asked Jake.

"Going to the Diamond" He said excited.

"Where?" Abby asked.

"It's the big ball park in town for the double A team here… Lincoln has connections, so he gets to go get a tour of the field and everything."

"Wow" Abby said.

"Yeah it's going to be awesome, Auntie O said I can throw a pitch on the field and everything!"

"She set it up special to be on his first game day since he is pitching tonight. Huh bud?"

"Yep, it's going to be SO awesome! Nanna my pitch is getting real good" Jacob said excited.

"I can't wait to see it" Abby said. "What time is Octavia getting him?"

"In about a half hour actually" Clarke said looking to Jacob. "I was thinking, maybe I could see if Raven was around this morning to take Kate for a few hours, so you and I could get some coffee and talk?"

"I would love that" Abby said.

"Okay, I will text her and see I'm not sure what she's got going on at work right now."

"If not I am here all weekend" Abby said.

"I know, I just…" Clarke stopped.

"I can tell" Abby nodded.

/

Octavia had gotten Jacob and Raven had come to pick up Kate for a bit. She said it was perfect anyhow because she wanted to go see the newest Disney movie that was out and she didn't want to go by herself and look like a weird-o.

Abby and Clarke were sitting on the couch now, they had opted to just make coffee and tea at the house and stay comfy rather than go anywhere.

"So talk to me?" Abby said.

"It's all so much, Mom" Clarke said. "This new company of Lexa's its taking up everything she has. She gets in most nights around nine after the kids are already asleep or right at bed time to say goodnight. When she started this we agreed to certain things…"

"Which were?" Abby asked sipping her tea.

"That she would be home at least three nights a week for dinner and be here to put the kids to bed with me. Last week she went five days without seeing Kate awake, and they ask for her all the time. Then when she is around she buys them all sorts of shit and showers them with everything to make up for it. It's not what they need."

"I agree with that but… As the parent who was out of the house ninety percent of the time, I know how hard it can be. It's hard to have a job that's so time consuming and then come home and not want to just be the fun parent."

"I get that I really do and the nice thing about Lex is she is Lexa. She is both the stern parent and the loving caring Momma. She's the disciplinarian, the yes please and no thank you mom, which I am so thankful for because of that our kids are well mannered and behaved. With her Military background she is strict and dedicated even as a mother but in all the best ways. I am so the opposite I set Kate on the counter while I cook, I let her have chocolate milk instead of plain and she doesn't wear clothes most days."

Abby laughed.

"What?" Clarke asked.

"You're the free love painter honey of course your kid doesn't wear clothes." Abby smiled.

"Yeah, I am the free love painter and Lexa is the complete opposite and I need that opposite around. That's why Jacob and Kate are turning out so amazing, because we are the perfect balance together. I need to raise my kids with her not Raven, Octavia or Anya. I mean don't get me wrong, their amazing Aunties and I am so thankful for their help…"

"But you want your wife" Abby added.

Clarke just nodded.

"And you have mentioned these things to her."

Clarke laughed "We have talked about it, screamed about it; I have cried about it, it doesn't seem to get through to her."

"Do you want me to talk to her? You know how Lexa can be sometimes you know how I can talk to her… it's the mom thing, she has always let me play that role."

"At this point I am willing to try anything."

"Do you think she will make it to Jacob's game today?" Abby asked.

"I sure hope so, because if not…"

"World war three" Abby Nodded.

"I don't even know if I have the energy for that, it's just... going to be more than I can take" Clarke sighed.

/

Lexa looked at her phone, 11:45 the meeting was still going and didn't feel like there was a stopping point coming any time soon. She needed to get control over this and fast.

"So" Lexa said standing from the desk they were all sitting around. "Are there any more need to know questions, things that are crucial to the now?" She spoke in a very assertive tone.

"I think that we have covered all of them… if possible I would just like to go over the Verifying packet."

"I don't have time to cover the full forty-five page packet at the moment" She said to Pike, one of the commanding officers on the video chat in Syria.

"Excuse me?" He asked.

"I believe you heard me" She said walking back and forth, her hands behind her back.

"Okay" He said.

"Commander" Indra said her tone sharp.

"Colonel" Lexa snapped back.

"I'm sorry all but I am going to have to be leaving in the next five…"

"No" Ontari said, "Not until we are finished."

Lexa looked over at the General, "I have to it's a personal matter."

"You know what a personal matter is?" Ontari spoke loudly, "the lives of all these men YOU are sending to Syria."

"I understand" Lexa said, "And I believe I have done my duty here. I have laid out my plans, given my directions and left you with the packets. I am training my men and they will be ready when they leave. So I am _quite_ comfortable with the lives of the men I am sending over, General" She spoke strongly.

"Commander" Indra said.

"No" Lexa spoke in a sharp tone. "Is there anything else, before I go?" Lexa looked to Ontari and Pike on the screen.

"Well" Ontari said, "Since you are leaving we will skip right to the end of my notes…"

"Okay" Lexa nodded.

"We would like you to go to Syria for a few weeks with this team." Ontari said to Lexa.

/


	7. baseball games and marital issues

Lexa got into the car just as quickly as she could, she looked at the time on her phone 1:30PM.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" She said.

"We will get you there, Lexa." Thelonious said.

"You think?" She asked.

"I do" He nodded, "The route looks clear with just a bit of traffic."

"What's the arrival time?"

"Four thirty" he told her.

"Fuck" She said under her breath again that was cutting it to close.

How in the world she let Ontari get her so worked up into staying in the meeting for another hour and a half she didn't know. Oh wait, yes she did.

' _We want you to go to Syria with this team.'_

The words rang in her head over and over.

Of course she said no, she practically threatened to pull out of the mission all together if they didn't give her another other option. There was no way she was going to go, even if they made some really good points on why she should be there to set things up. She knew that was just the Commander in her talking and that she needed to stay here with Clarke and the kids and be a wife and Mom… not a marine; it's what she wanted anyhow. Those days were behind her, she had bigger priorities now like getting to her son's first baseball game.

/

Clarke was getting Jacob into his uniform she checked her phone one more time, nothing. It was now 3:15, Jake had to be at the field at 4:20 for warmups and head count the game started at 4:40. She wanted to text Lexa and check on her to see where she was, but she hadn't, in fact she hadn't heard from her all day. That was weird because Lexa normally checked in a lot even if they were fighting.

Clarke put down her phone "did Momma call?" he asked.

"No buddy, but I am sure she will, okay?"

Jacob just nodded. Each time he had asked about Lexa since he had come home from his stadium tour with his auntie O, his little face dropped a little more.

"I know buddy, but like I told you she is trying REALLY hard okay?" Clarke smiled.

"I know" Jacob nodded, "I just really want her to see me pitch."

"Hey little man" Octavia said walking into his room.

"Yeah auntie?" He asked.

"Why don't you go find your Nanna? She just got back from her hotel and I bet she wants to hear all about your day."

"Oh great idea and I bet she will even make you a smoothie in your new game cup if you ask really nice!" Clarke smiled.

"Yeah?" Jacob smiled.

"I bet" Octavia nodded.

And with that Jacob ran down the stairs.

"Has she texted you?" Clarke tried hoping that Lexa had texted someone.

"No, why don't you ask Anya?" Octavia said sitting onto Jake's bed pulling Clarke down with her.

"Oh good idea" Clarke said sending a text to her sister-in-law.

 **Clarke: Hey, have you heard from Lex?**

Nearly right away Clarke's phone buzzed.

 **Anya: Yes.**

 **Clarke: ...?**

 **Anya: She is on her way stuck in some traffic…**

"So?" Octavia asked.

"Apparently stuck in traffic" Clarke shrugged.

 **Clarke: She going to make it?**

 **Anya: Looking like it… but….**

 **Clarke: Who knows?**

 **Anya: I just think she's going to be late.**

"Anya thinks she will just be late" Clarke told Octavia.

"Late is better than nothing, for J's sake. I mean it sucks but…" Octavia trailed off.

"No you are completely right" Clarke said.

 **Clarke: Late is better than not at all I guess.**

 **Anya: Well Im going to kill her if you don't**

 **Clarke: You may have too Idk if I have the strength anymore.**

 **Anya: alright, I got this.**

 **Clarke: Haha okay thanks… I think.**

 **Anya: Anytime I got you blonde sister.**

Clarke just handed Octavia her phone to read the last part of the conversation.

"Well yeah" Octavia said "I'm going to freak out if she misses it."

"Me too" Clarke said. "I can't take Jacob's face right now; he is already preparing himself for it and its killing me O."

"I know me too, and I'm not even his mom."

"Thanks for today by the way he had such a good time." Clarke said.

"Oh my gosh I loved it too. I have so many more pictures on my actual camera, I will get them too you their so good."

"I bet and thank you, He adores you ya know." Clarke said laying her head on Octavia's shoulder.

"Yeah well the feeling is mutual." Octavia smiled.

"When are you and Lincoln going to try?"

"Soon" Octavia said.

"Yes PLEASE, Oh be pregnant with me!" Clarke said.

"That's VERY soon" Octavia laughed.

"Well I need a bump buddy and my kids need cousins."

"I am working on it, I promise."

"You're my best friend Octavia" Clarke said.

"HEY!" Raven said walking in the door.

"You're my other best friend!" Clarke said.

"I know" Raven said smiling, "Can I join the love fest?"

"Yep" Octavia said sliding over "come on."

"How was Kate?" Clarke asked resting her head on Raven's shoulder now.

"Great" Raven said, "She sat through the whole movie."

"Did you spoil her with popcorn and candy?" Clarke asked.

"NO, don't answer that!" Octavia said. "What happens with her aunties stays with her aunties."

"Ohhh really now" Clarke laughed.

"Yep" Octavia said.

"Uh huh, it's our right to spoil and sugar them up" Raven said.

"Oh I cannot wait until you have kids" Clarke laughed.

/

Lexa was starting to get antsy it was almost four and she was in dead stopped traffic.

"Accident?" She asked Theo.

"I can't really tell yet, the App just shows congestion for the next ten miles" He told her.

"We are going to be creeping like this for ten more miles! What's the arrival time now?"

Lexa had asked Thelonious that now about forty five times in this slow trip.

"It says 5:10PM, Ma'am."

"Drop the Ma'am Theo… Just because I'm agitated doesn't mean you need to get all formal on me."

 **Abby: Hi dear just wanted to let you know I am here. Just checking on you…**

 **Lexa: Mom I can't handle this… I am going to be late at best. I am freaking out.**

 **Abby: Lexa honey, breathe.**

 **Lexa: Can you call me?**

 **Abby: Of course.**

Lexa's phone rang, "Hey"

" _Hello dear" Abby said._

"Where are you right now?"

" _Standing outside your house"_

"Alone?" Lexa asked.

" _Completely, Jacob is on the couch watching a show before his game and your wife, your daughter, Octavia and Raven are in Jake's room talking."_

"About me I would presume" Lexa sighed.

" _Lexa honey, lets focus on you right now" Abby said._

"Okay, I just needed to talk to you for a second, to hear your voice." Lexa said the last part in nearly a whisper.

Abby and Lexa had been close from the start of her and Clarke's relationship. Lexa took to Abby, which was rare because she didn't take to anyone back then well besides Clarke so she figured that was why. Abby had filled the roll of Mom in her life pretty quickly.

" _I know, Lex. I know."_

"I don't know if I am going to mak-"

" _Honestly honey, let's not even worry about that right now. It's just going to get you more worked up and you are in a car with nowhere to go, you will go nuts Lexa. We don't want the anxiety to flare."_

Lexa never suffered from PTSD but she did have some severe bouts of anxiety that started right around the first time she finished her first tour and came back hard again once she retired. Though now it had been controlled for quite a while, she was starting to feel it rise and Abby could tell.

"Okay" Lexa breathed.

" _There you go" Abby said calmly, "want me to tell you about my day?"_

"Please" Lexa said focusing on Abby's voice.

/

4:25 PM

Clarke sat on the bleachers with Raven, Abby and Octavia, Kate was in Abby's lap.

"When is Anya getting here?" Clarke asked Raven.

"In about ten minutes, she just texted me and had left the office already."

"Can we please have a girl's night soon so we can talk about this?" Octavia asked.

"Yes, please?" Clarke smiled.

"Sure" Raven rolled her eyes.

"Thank you!" Octavia said.

"How's your leg?" Abby leaned over and asked Raven seeing she was rubbing on it.

"Um, it's ok…" Raven said.

"Do you want me to look at it this week?" Abby asked whispering.

"Yeah, I think so" Raven nodded.

"Okay will do, we'll figure out when."

"Thanks." Raven smiled.

"I'm so excited to watch him pitch tonight" Abby said looking down the line at all the girls.

"I'm so glad you could be here Mom" Clarke said.

Her mom could figure it out as a doctor, why couldn't her wife.

"Of course" Abby said.

"Nanna?" Kate asked looking up at her grandma.

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"Can I have one?" She pointed at a little boy who had a cotton candy.

She glanced to Clarke before forgetting the idea of asking her, "Sure honey, let's go to the snack shack."

"Mom!" Clarke said.

"I'm the grandma Clarke, it's my job."

"You guys and all your made up rules" Clarke laughed.

"There not made up!" Raven said.

"Yeah you're just mad because you have to play the role of Mom first and not fun auntie" Octavia said.

"I'm hardly mad about it, but it would be nice if I got to play the role of auntie soon" She looked to both her best friends.

"Cool your jets turbo, I just started dating Anya" Raven laughed.

"And I told you, I'm trying" Octavia said.

"What are you trying?" Lincoln asked coming up behind the bleachers and wrapping his arms around Octavia.

"Oh my gosh you scared me!" Octavia said.

"Lincoln" Clarke said surprised to see her friend. "When did you get back into town?"

"Like an hour ago" He told her.

"Yeah, we planned on him meeting us here. I just wanted him to surprise little man" Octavia told the blonde.

"Well at least if my wife doesn't make it his uncle Lincoln is here to surprise him" Clarke smiled.

"I'm happy to be here" He said, Raven fist bumped him and Octavia kissed him as he sat down on the bleachers, Jake spotted him almost instantly out on the field warming up with his team.

"Oh I think you have been spotted" Octavia said.

"UNCLE LINCOLN!" Jacob hollered.

Lincoln waved and gave Jake a big thumbs up and Jake went back to paying attention.

"What's happening my people?" Anya said showing up.

"Hey" Clarke said.

"Hi" O said scooting over so Anya could slide in between Raven and Clarke.

"Hi babe" Anya said kissing Raven.

"Hi" Raven said.

"Anything?" Clarke asked her.

"Looking like five-thirty" Anya said to her sister in law.

"And the game ends at five-forty, nice" Clarke nodded.

"She's trying Clarke" Abby said coming back with Kate, who had a huge cotton candy in her hands, Abby had a big bag of popcorn in one hand and another bag in her other.

"What's with the bag mom?"

"Snacks for all" Abby said handing down the big bag of popcorn and pulling out candy and waters from the other bag.

"YES!" Raven said.

"You're the best Abby!" Octavia said.

"Thanks Mrs. Griffin" Lincoln.

"Lincoln" Abby warned.

"Sorry, Abby" He nodded.

"Thank you" Abby smiled.

"How's she doing?" Abby asked Anya quietly.

"Um, she's ok… I am more concerned about this one though." Anya whispered towards Clarke.

"She's ok Lex is alone, I worry about the anxiety" Abby said.

"Did you talk to her?" Anya asked.

"Yeah"

"And it's back?" Anya asked.

"It's coming back up" Abby nodded.

/

Lexa ran out of the car and over to the field. It was 5:20 she was just praying the game was still going because to be honest she had no idea how long it was. Abby saw her running across the parking lot and decided she would be the one to go meet her.

"Am I… did I…" She could hardly breathe.

"You have about twenty more minutes" Abby said.

"Okay" Lexa nodded clearly disappointed, but happy she made it for something.

"But" Abby said.

"But?" she said defeated.

"He pitched the first half of the game."

"Fuck" Lexa said, tears welling up in her eyes.

Lexa didn't cry, like ever. She could count on one hand the times she had in public too, she hated it.

"Its ok honey" Abby hugged her. "Pull it together and come watch him play he has to bat still… that's something."

Lexa nodded, she could hear Kate screaming for her.

"Let's get over there before that little girl loses it, yeah?" Abby smiled.

Lexa wiped her eyes and smiled "Yeah."

"It's good to see you, Lex" Abby said with her hand on her back.

"You too, Mom" Lexa smiled.

/

Lexa watched the last of Jacob's game with Kate on her lap sitting in front of Clarke on the bleachers, not saying anything more than 'hi' when she got there. Once Jacob was done he ran over to his family.

"Momma!" Was the first thing he said heading right to her.

"You made it!" Jake smiled.

"I did, I'm so sorry I didn't get to see you pitch but you got a GREAT hit in, I'm so proud of you!" Lexa said.

"It's okay, Mom said you had an important meeting in DC and you were trying really hard to get here."

"She was right I was trying really hard to get here." She kissed him, "I love you, son."

"I love you!" He said.

"Did you see Uncle Lincoln?" He gestured to his uncle standing a few feet behind him talking to the group.

"I did, have you?" she asked.

"No, not really yet."

"Well go!" She said nudging him over there.

He ran over and Lincoln picked him up in a huge hug. Lexa stayed where she was and just watched, Abby walked over "See he was thrilled none the less."

"Yeah, but she isn't" She gestured to Clarke.

"I know" Abby said, "And you need to talk to her Lex."

"I know… everyone keeps saying that, but every time I do it just makes things worse" Lexa sighed.

"You need to find a way to make it better though."

Lexa just nodded.

/

They had gone out for pizza to celebrate not only Jacob's first game, but win. Clarke sat on the other side of the table next to Jake and Octavia, Lexa with Kate and Anya which wasn't odd, but the fact that Clarke didn't look or speak to lexa the whole time was. When they left the restaurant Abby took the kids with her back to her hotel. The car ride back to their house was silent, Lexa drove as normal when they were together and Clarke just stared out the window.

When they got home Clarke went straight up to their room and Lexa hung back for a few minutes, not really wanting to have the blow up she knew was coming.  
When she walked into their room Clarke was just standing in their closet.

"Can you talk to me?" Lexa asked.

"And say what, Lexa?"

"I don't know, yell at me… scream at me… say what you want."

"That's the thing though Lexa, I don't want to yell and scream at you anymore. I don't want to end or start everyday with an argument or an empty bed. I am sick of it. I'm not mad at you… Okay I am… I'm furious with you. But I'm more than anything SO devastated for that little boy! Yes he was SO excited to see his Momma there at the end of his game, and yes he understood that you were trying SO hard to get to his game… But he asked about it all day, Lex. His little face got more and more sad as he had to come to the realization that his Momma who he adores was not going to be at his first baseball game today because she had a really important work meeting."

"I know" Lexa said "and it was shit because I tried Clarke, I tried SO hard. I rescheduled my meeting so it was early. I got up at three this morning and I even set an alarm in the meeting so I knew just when to leave."

"And what happened?" Clarke asked.

"Fucking Ontari… she said I couldn't go until the meeting was done. Then challenged me on sending my men in saying their lives where in my hands, like I don't fucking know that."

"So what, you stayed?"

"No, Clarke. I took like three more questions because I insisted she skip to her end notes which she did. Then I got in the car and it said we would be there by four-thirty."

"What did?" Clarke asked.

"The GPS Thelonious had up" Lexa told her. "Then there were two accidents on 95 so we literally sat at a dead stop for like an hour in a half. I am sorry Clarke I'm so sorry."

"The thing is Lexa… you shouldn't have to be telling me your sorry! You should have just been there. My mom was here and she's a fucking surgeon, she got off work for his game. Lincoln came home early from his work trip and Anya left work an hour early. Everyone was there Lexa!"

"THAT IS NOT FAIR" Lexa raised her voice, "I DIDN'T HAVE THIS MEETING PLANNED, I PLANNED ON BEING THERE."

"WELL YOU WERE'NT YOU WERE AT THAT MEETING INSTEAD!"

"I WAS THERE, I WATCHED HIM PLAY!" Lexa yelled, "I WAS LATE AND I'M SORRY BUT I FUCKING TRIED!"

Clarke just looked at her wife, not knowing what to say. Lexa paced for a moment taking a deep breath. "I fucked up Clarke, what do you want me to do?"

"I WANT YOU TO STOP FUCKING UP!" Clarke yelled.

"I'M REALLY TRYING CLARKE…. BUT IT'S MY JOB CLARKE, IT'S HOW WE LIVE!"

"YOUR JOB IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR FAMILY, OR AT LEAST IT SHOULDN'T BE. LEXA WE'RE GETTING READY TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY… IF YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN AND THIS… THIS IS NOT HOW I WANT TO DO THIS!"

Lexa took another deep breath she didn't want to do this she didn't want to fight. Clarke was right and she knew she was right. "You know today they told me they want me to go to Syria…"

"WHAT!" Clarke freaked, "YOU BETTER NOT EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT GOING TO SYRIA ALEXANDRIA! YOU TOLD ME WHEN YOU STARTED THIS JOB YOU WOULDN'T GO ANYWHERE OVER SEAS, YOU SAID YOU WERE DONE WITH THAT!"

"CLARKE!" Lexa said trying to gain control again but Clarke just kept going, not wanting to hear a word that Lexa said.

"I TRUSTED YOU, I TRUSTED THAT! BUT A LOT OF THINGS HAVE CHANGED LATELY…. SO YOU KNOW WHAT GO! GO TO SYRIA, AND WHEN YOU GET BACK YOU CAN MOVE INTO AN APARTMENT AND HAVE THE KIDS EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. IT'S ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU SEE THEM ANYWAYS!" Clarke said storming out, slamming the door behind her.

Lexa couldn't believe what just came out of Clarke's mouth as soon as she processed what just happened she ran down the stairs.

"Clarke!"

But as soon as she got to the kitchen she saw Clarke's keys and purse were gone.

"FUCK!" Lexa said.

/


	8. Comfy nest of Blankets and Best friends

**AN: Sorry I haven't written an A/N here in a while, I'm primarily posting on Ao3 but I have been posting here as well when I am out and have the good wifi for people who don't have ao3... but I do believe ao3 is a few chapters ahead if you want to head over there to read more. I will catch up here I promise it's just not as easy for me to post on here from home. So anyways, if you find me on TUMBLR at Clexagiraffesandbrittana319 you can see a new teaser for an upcoming CLEXA story...**

 **hope you enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

Clarke was so upset tears running down her face she couldn't believe it she dialed Octavia's number.

"Hello?" Octavia answered.

"Can I come over?"

Octavia could hear the tears in her best friend's voice right away. "Yes of course you in the car already?"

"I'm almost to your house" Clarke said through tears.

"Okay, doors unlocked I'm going to check and make sure we have ice cream" Octavia said.

"Okay thanks O…. hey?"

"Yes?"

"Can you call Rae?" She really just wanted both her best friends there.

"Yeah you bet" Octavia said.

"Thanks see you soon."

"Love you drive safe Clarke I mean it." Octavia said.

When Clarke got to Octavia's Raven's car was already there which didn't surprise her, since she only lived like a block away and drove like well… Raven.

She walked in and straight to where she knew they were Octavia's bed.

"Hey" Lincoln said passing her in the hall "Their already curled up waiting for you, I am going to get ice cream cause we were low already. Then I am going to go in the basement and play video games, but I am here if you need anything."

Clarke just hugged him not saying anything.

"I'll be back" He smiled.

She walked into Octavia's room and the two girls scooted apart to let her crawl in the middle. As soon as she was in her best friends' arms she lost it, sobbing it all out.

"Shhh" Octavia said as she ran her fingers through blonde hair. Raven rubbed small circles on her arm, it had been years since she had needed them like this, but they knew just what to do. They spend many nights with a sobbing Clarke in their arms when her dad had died when they were younger. The three of them had been best friends since childhood. After a good little while just crying into them Clarke started to calm herself down some and sat up wiping her eyes.

"You okay?" Raven asked.

Clarke just shook her head.

"Sorry to interrupt but, Ice cream in the freezer or do you want it now?" Lincoln asked sticking his head in for a quick minute.

"What do you think?" Octavia looked to Clarke.

"Freezer for now, thank you Linc" Clarke said.

"Of course, I got you" He smiled. "Going down stairs, I will have my headset on, going to play video games with Bellamy but if you need me text me. I love you all."

"Love you babe, thanks" O said.

"Love you" Raven said.

"Me too" Clarke wiped her eyes.

"So, wanna talk about it now?" Octavia asked.

Clarke nodded, "It was just fucking awful."

"What happened?" Raven asked.

"Well we didn't talk the whole way home and I just went up to our room, because I didn't want to do it today... I don't want to do it anymore."

"Fight, right?" Raven clarified.

"Yeah" Clarke said.

"Even though I told her today she could get an apartment and have the kids every other weekend since that's about as much as she sees them anyways…." Clarke said more tears welling up in her eyes.

"Wait, wait, wait, what?" Octavia asked.

"Well that was the VERY end of the argument which didn't even really start out as an argument" Clarke explained. "We were just talking, she told me about the meeting and how she was really trying to leave early but then Ontari-"

"Who's Ontari?" Raven asked.

"The General of the United States Marine Corps" Clarke told her.

"Score for the women" Raven said Octavia just gave her a look, "okay sorry continue."

"So, I guess Ontari got mad she needed to leave and challenged her…"

"Oh not good, did the commander come out in full force?" Octavia asked.

"I would imagine" Clarke shrugged.

"I love her" Raven said with a small smile.

Clarke continued as Octavia nodded in agreement with Raven "so then I got mad and told her how everyone else managed to be there. How my mom is a doctor and Lincoln got there after a business trip and everything."

"That didn't go over well" Raven said.

"No" Clarke shook her head "she screamed that she fucked up and what did I want her to do? I told her I wanted her to stop fucking up and then all the sudden out of nowhere she told me they want her to go to Syria with this team…"

"WAIT, WHAT?" Raven asked.

"Yeah…" Clarke said, "My reaction exactly. So I told her she better not even think about going, but then I said to go and when she got back she should get herself an apartment and she could have the kids every other weekend and I stormed out." Clarke wiped at the tears still falling from her face.

"Holy fuck Clarke" Octavia said.

"I know" Clarke shook her head, "I just… I can't handle it anymore."

"But you don't want that" Raven said.

"No I don't I'm three months pregnant, I want things to go back to the way they were… we have never had a patch like this. Sure we have fought, but this… this is ridiculous. I know Lexa is passionate about her work which to be honest is why I was a bit hesitant about this new endeavor. She has never done this sorda thing with children when it was just us… it was different she could come and go easier. Sure it sucked to be apart, but I would just immerse myself into painting and keep busy, but this is the kids and they can't do that and they shouldn't have to go months without their Momma."

"So she is really considering going?" Octavia asked.

"I guess, I really don't know" Clarke shrugged.

"What do you mean?" Raven spoke.

"As soon as it came up I freaked out, I couldn't even talk about it or look at her so I just left."

"Okay, I get that" Raven said.

"So what are you going to do?" Octavia asked.

"Stay here in this comfy nest of blankets and best friends, until I can breathe right" Clarke said.

"Sounds like a good plan" Raven nodded.

"I'm just glad my mom is in town and has the kids so I can hole up with you two for a little bit, Lincoln is okay with this right?" Clarke asked.

"Yep, he is the one who offered to go get ice cream and everything. I filled him in some on the happenings while he was gone, He understands" Octavia said.

"He is the best man" Clarke said.

"He really is" Raven said, "He is going to be such a great dad."

"Yeah I hit the jackpot with that one." Octavia smiled.

/

Lexa paced her kitchen for a few minutes and then called Anya.

" _I am on my way" Anya answered._

"How… how did you know?"

" _Clarke is on her way to O's, O called Raven… we didn't really know what's going on, just that Clarke was really upset so I figured I better come check on you."_

"Thanks" Lexa said, tears falling from her face.

" _Are you crying?" Anya asked concerned._

"Just get here" Lexa said wiping her face.

" _Literally two minutes away, hold tight I'll be there."_

Just as she said, Anya walked in Lexa's front door two minutes later. Lexa was sitting on the couch with a bottle of Whiskey opened and a small glass poured already.

"Alex" Anya sighed when she sat down next to her very distraught sister, which was not a sight she saw often and they grew up together.

"You've been calling me that a lot lately…" Lexa said with a small smile.

"I know… is it okay?" Anya asked wiping tears from her sisters face.

"I like it, feels like I'm 16 again" She nodded.

Come here Anya said pulling her in and running her hands through her brown chestnut curls.

"She told me to go" Lexa cried.

"What, when, where…?" Anya asked confused.

"Clarke, she told me to go to Syria."

"Syria? What is happening Lex, please start at the beginning" Anya said calmly.

Lexa took a deep breath… "Today at this meeting, Ontari-General Ontari told me they wanted me to go to Syria" Lexa paused.

"No" Anya said.

"I'm not going to Syria" Lexa said, "But today I brought it up to Clarke to tell her, to show her that I'm here that I am not there and that this is more important. But she freaked out before I could even finish my sentence." More tears filling Lexa's eyes now "she said I should go and that when I got back… I could find an apartment and have my kids every other weekend."

"Oh Lex" Anya said, "She doesn't mean it."

"I'm not going to go, I was never going to go" Lexa cried.

"Shh, I know" Anya said listening to Lexa's breath get heavier and faster. "Lex, you got to slow your breathing down some, hon. Come on breathe with me."

"I can't lose her, I can't lose them…" Lexa put her face in her hands.

"Shhh, breathe Alex" Anya said. "We will talk in a few, lets breath right now okay?" Anya brought her sister back into her "why don't I tell you about this thing with Raven?" Anya asked knowing that talking to Lexa and giving her something to focus on helped, Abby had taught her that years ago.

"Yes" Lexa nodded slowing her breathing down, focusing on her sister's voice "talk to me."

/

"So" Clarke said sitting in between her best friends still ice cream in her hands. They had calmed Clarke down pretty good and had moved on to some best friend time to keep her mind busy "Can we talk about Anya?"

"Oh yeah, please?" Octavia asked.

"Ugh" Raven said.

"Oh come on, I've had a really shitty few weeks and I need some girl time and gossip" Clarke said.

"Okay, fine" Raven smiled. "But you guys have to ask questions I am not just going to tell a story."

"When did it start?" Clarke asked.

"How's the sex?" Octavia laughed.

"It started about two months ago, but I would say we officially became a thing like a month ago." Raven answered Clarke's question first.

"I knew it" Clarke said.

"And the sex is incredible" Raven added looking to Octavia.

"Yeahhhhhh it is" Octavia wiggled her eye brows "this is your first female relationship right?"

"Relationship, yes… Though I don't know if we're calling it that yet" Raven said.

"You've been with girls?" Octavia asked.

Clarke just giggled.

"What?" Octavia asked confused, Raven now laughing too "what am I missing?"

Clarke raised her hand slowly.

"What? NO!" Octavia screamed "WHEN?"

Raven busted up laughing.

"A few times" Clarke said.

"Okay when was the first?" Octavia asked.

"Wait I thought we were talking about Raya?" Clarke pointed at Raven.

"Did you just give us a ship-name?" Raven laughed.

"Yeah I like it…" Clarke nodded.

"What's your and Lexa's?" Raven asked.

"Clexa… Duh!" Octavia rolled her eyes.

"And yours and Lincoln's?" Raven looked to Octavia.

"Linctavia… Duh" Clarke said just as Octavia had.

"You guys are weird" Raven said.

"Well apparently you had sex with one of us weird-o's" Octavia said with wide eyes.

"Like… 20 times" Clarke laughed.

"NO!" Octavia said still shocked.

"Yes" Raven said.

"So when was the first time?" Octavia asked.

"With me and Anya or Clarke and I?" Raven asked for calcification.

"Clarke and you… fuck Anya right now."

"I do" Raven laughed.

"Junior year" Clarke answered.

"Good lord!" Octavia said. "Where was I, we were always together!"

"You were there a few times" Clarke couldn't stop giggling now.

"What! Please tell me that's a lie?" Octavia put her hands over her eyes.

"Um, I can't…Raven said. "Just once or twice at sleepovers. It only happened a few times that year then not again until our freshman year of college."

"Right after we found out we were both sleeping with Finn" Clarke said.

"So you just stopped fucking him and fucked each other?" Octavia laughed "Sounds logical."

"Sorda… it just happened" Raven said.

"And then it was like on and off the whole year, then never again." Clarke said.

"Yeah because you met Lex" Raven said.

"You say that like we would have been a thing…" Clarke rolled her eyes.

"You never know" Raven play winked.

"So was the sex good?" Octavia asked with and arched brow.

Silence.

"Why are you making this weird?" Clarke asked.

"I'm not" Octavia said, "You are by not just answering the question."

"It was insanely good" Clarke said.

"Very very good" Raven nodded.

"Okay… it's weird now" Octavia laughed.

"See I told you! Can we go back to Raya please?" Clarke hit Octavia.

/

"So we left your house after the Fourth of July barbeque and I was driving her home-"

"Because she was so wasted that night" Lexa remembered, now pretty calm since she had been listening to her sister talk a while.

"Yeah, so I ended up just taking her back to my house because I didn't want her to go home alone" Anya said.

"And because the sex was so good the month before" Lexa added.

"Right" Anya laughed "but I didn't want to have drunk sex with her so I just got her home put her in Pj's-"

"Saw her naked again huh?" Lexa smirked up at her sister; she was laying with her head in her lap now.

"Shut up… and then we got in bed. The next morning she had gotten up before me and I thought she was gone, but her prosthetic was at the bottom of my bed."

"She took it off in front of you right away? That's really huge for Rae" Lexa said.

Anya nodded, "I went looking for her because the bathroom was dark and she was in my kitchen making breakfast."

"Oh that girl can cook!" Lexa said.

"Don't I know it… well I found out after breakfast she had taken her leg off because it's been bugging her, I asked her what there was to do about it and she said before she got a new one not much just to keep it out of the prosthetic as much as possible so it didn't end up with sores…"

"That and rub it when she hurts" Lexa nodded, "She is really stingy with that secret though."

"Uh yeah I guess, because I didn't know that."

"Yeah, her nerves are bad down there obviously so she has a lot of pain" Lexa said "helps to rub it."

"And how do you know that, Clarke?"

"No, not Clarke… I mean Clarke knows that yes, but Raven is one of my best friends too, you know that" Lexa said.

Anya nodded, not wanting to tell her sister that since she hadn't seen them together much in the last few months of them being together it had honestly slipped her mind. "So anyways, we talked about the accident and then we ended up talking about like everything that morning."

"I am so shocked she opened up to you that fast, you really are good for her she doesn't do that…" Lexa said happy that Anya and Raven seemed so good together.

Anya just shrugged "So I drove her home and we texted like every day that week."

"Wait, you skipped the sex from that morning…"

"No sex" Anya shook her head "not that morning. We dated for nearly three weeks before we had sex again."

"Wow, seriously? You must really dig her."

"I do and I want to do this the right way this time. Besides really liking her I don't want to fuck this family up, she is the kids' aunt just as much as I am and to ruin family holidays would really suck" Anya said.

"Well we may be having two now, so…" Lexa sighed.

"Stop, you're not moving out Alexandria" Anya returned her hands to her sisters hair again.

"Anya this thing is bad…" Lexa said.

"I know" Anya said, "But you know how to fix it… this is fixable Lexa you just have to do what's necessary."

"I was never going to go to Syria An…"

"I know that too" Anya nodded.

"Okay good, I just need someone to know" Lexa said.

/

"Are you sleeping here?" Octavia asked Clarke.

"I don't want to go home, but I don't want to do that to Lincoln…" Clarke said.

"LINCOLN" Octavia yelled he was in the kitchen now.

"Yeah?" He said walking in a moment later.

"Can Clarke stay here tonight?" O asked.

"Of course, I will sleep in the guest room" he said without hesitation.

"I don't want to do that to you" Clarke started.

"Stop, I'm more than okay in the guest bed you guys look comfy anyways, you staying Rae?"

"I think, if Anya is staying with Lex I will see…" Raven said.

"The more the merrier, I was going to order in Thai in a little bit so just let me know if you're going to be here" Lincoln said.

"He is a God" Raven looked to Octavia.

"I love you" Octavia smiled at him.

"I love you too" He winked.

"Octavia I can't stay… He just got home" Clarke said "He was gone nearly two weeks."

"So one more night won't kill anyone" Octavia said.

"If I stay you and I can sleep in the guest room" Raven said.

"No" Octavia said, "You're not leaving me tonight" She looked to Clarke. Octavia was often fiercely protective of Clarke. "If you're not going home to Lex, you're staying right here... both of you" She kissed Clarke's blonde hair.

"Okay" Clarke said completely content with that. "Rae, you said Anya was with Lex?"

"Yeah, when I got the call to come here she went there" Raven said.

"Okay… that's good" Clarke said.

"I'm going to text her right now and see if she's staying there or not" Raven told her.

"Tell her I'm going to stay here" Clarke said.

"I will" Raven said.

/

"So, raven just texted me…" Anya said to her sister.

"Okay" Lexa said hesitantly not knowing what was going to follow that.

"She said Clarke is going to stay at Octavia's tonight and that she is going to as well if I stay here with you."

"She's not coming home?" Lexa asked clearly upset.

"I think it's probably best for tonight Lex" Anya said gently, "I'll stay with you if you want."

Lexa nodded "I don't really want to sleep alone and if my wife's not coming home..."

"I think a night apart will help, that way you can just come back together once you both have calmed down fully" Anya said.

"I know you're right, I don't want to fight anymore… but I hate sleeping without her" Lexa sighed.

"I know I'll snuggle you though" Anya smiled.

/

"Anya is going to stay there" Raven said.

"So best friend sleep over?" Octavia asked with a smile.

"It's been a while" Clarke said, "Well with no kids…"

"Technically there is one kid here" Raven smiled.

"Can you keep a secret?" Octavia winced.

Clarke's eyes got huge "really!" She said excited knowing what Octavia meant already.

"I haven't told him yet. And it's SO new… like just peed on a stick this morning new, so I don't even really know for sure for sure but…" Octavia nodded.

"Yessssss" Clarke whispered.

"Oh my gosh I am so happy, two new babies!" Raven said.

"I get a bump buddy!" Clarke said as they all huddled together in a hug.

"I love you guys" Octavia said.

"I love you nerds too" Raven said.

"Said the genius" Clarke laughed.

 **/**


	9. Push and Pull

**AN: Thanks for the love on the new Prompt on tumblr, if you haven't seen it yet and want to check it out, Clexagiraffesandbrittana319 New prompt up for upcoming story.**

 **hope you enjoy the new chapter.**

 **Fanfiction is a little bit behind Archive of Our Own so for a few more chapters head there if you dont want to wait!**

 **thanks all!**

* * *

Lexa woke up early with Anya still passed out next to her they had slept in the guest room. She didn't want to sleep in their bed, being able to smell Clarke and not have her near seemed like too much that night. She grabbed her phone to check to see if she had any texts, just one.

 **Abby: I got a text from Clarke last night sorda letting me know what was up. Do you want to talk this morning? I can bring the kids home and you and I can go for coffee… Anya is there right?**

 **Lexa: I would like that I think and yes Anya is here. She isn't up yet, but I can get her up whenever…**

 **Abby: Kate is my only one up so far Jake is still out.**

 **Lexa: How did they do?**

 **Abby: Pretty good… Kate had an accident.**

 **Lexa: That's been happening lately… I think it's because of the change of routine around here… Im sorry.**

 **Abby: it's okay really she was on a rollaway bed when it happened so I just changed her and put her in with me…**

 **Abby: Don't blame yourself, it's ok.**

 **Abby: What do you think about 9?**

 **Lexa: Sounds good, thanks Mom.**

 **Abby: Of course see you then.**

/

Clarke didn't want to move, but she had to pee. Raven had her leg and arms over her so she slid out slowly trying not to wake her. She was nearly free when she realized there was only one of her friends in bed with her. She creeped out of the room to the adjoining bathroom when she was done she quietly grabbed her phone and ventured down the hall out into the house to see if anyone was up. When she checked the time she noted it was only 5:30 AM she knew Octavia wasn't up, it was a Saturday morning. Just before she got to the living room she glanced into the guest room where the door was opened and she saw Octavia curled up with Lincoln passed out. She smiled seeing that her best friend had gotten up went into the guest room to sleep with her husband.

Clarke continued heading into the kitchen and pulled down the coffee and filters out of the cupboard, along with a mug and got the coffee started. She went to the couch as it was brewing and sat there starring at her phone. She was awake, she knew she was and she couldn't help it she wanted to text her.

 **Clarke: Hi**

It wasn't much, but it was something.

Not even a minute before her phone was beeping in her hand.

 **Lexa: Hi**

 **Clarke: How did you sleep?**

 **Lexa: Okay, in the guest room with Anya… that bed is pretty comfortable.**

Clarke smiled, the guest room bed was her mattress from right before she and Lexa moved in together. It was a fairly new bed, so they kept it for the guest room.

 **Clarke: You always did love that mattress…**

 **Lexa: I did, I don't love it as much without you on it with me tho…**

 **Clarke: Why didn't you sleep in our bed? It's much bigger.**

 **Lexa: Just… couldn't. You're up early.**

 **Clarke: As always, you too.**

 **Lexa: Well, you know my body can't tell the difference between a Monday or a Saturday…**

 **Clarke: Mine either… Between getting up to get your breakfast made and your lunch ready then being up with Kate right about this time… I am always up early now.**

 **Lexa: And you used to love your sleep.**

 **Clarke: Yeah, look what you did to me commander.**

 **Lexa: You love it.**

 **Clarke: I do mornings are my fave now I get some good alone time w/Kate after you go off to work. Shes so snuggly in the morning…. I should text and check on her.**

 **Lexa: She is up, did good. Had an accident last night tho…**

 **Clarke: Dammit.**

 **Clarke: You talked to mom?**

 **Lexa: I know. And yes, she texted me were going to go get coffee this morning … Anya is going to stay with the kids.**

 **Clarke: I can come home if you need.**

 **Lexa: Well I want you to come home of course… but Anya is here and we're going at 9. I figured Raven would make breakfast when she is up and you can hang out with the girls.**

 **Clarke: I can bring the girls with me and Raven can make breakfast for the family…**

 **Lexa: Whatever you want to do love Anya is here either way.**

 **Clarke: I will talk to Rae when she wakes up.**

 **Lexa: Sounds good.**

 **Lexa: this is nice.**

 **Clarke: What is?**

 **Lexa: Just… texting.**

 **Lexa: like… normal.**

 **Clarke: Yeah, I know.**

 **Clarke: I needed this this morning.**

 **Lexa: Me too.**

 **Lexa: Do you want to maybe…**

 **Clarke: Lexa! One I am sitting on O and L's couch. Two…. Everyone's asleep, and three… Im still in no way over any of this… so no I don't want to sext…**

 **Lexa: hahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahaha!**

 **Clarke: I am glad you think it's funny…**

 **Lexa: I was going to say go for a drive or something today… I didn't get the other text to you before you assumed.**

 **Lexa: But I like where you head went ;)**

 **Clarke: …. Oh.**

 **Clarke: Well…. Yeah… I am still…. Alive. :'D**

 **Lexa: I am dying… hahahahahhaha**

 **Clarke: Well I am glad I can amuse you….**

 **Lexa: And don't act like it would be the first time we have done something dirty in an inappropriate setting.**

 **Clarke: Movie theater…**

 **Lexa: Driving to New York.**

 **Clarke: Octavia and Lincoln's wedding.**

 **Lexa: twice!**

 **Clarke: My mom's house…**

 **Lexa: in the living room while she was in the shower.**

 **Clarke: Airport bathroom.**

 **Lexa: airplane… multiple times my favorite being the trip to Paris where we didn't even leave our lay-flat seats…**

 **Clarke: We are horrible.**

 **Lexa: it's amazing.**

 **Clarke: yes, btw. I will go on a drive or something with you later…**

 **Lexa: thank you…**

 **Clarke: You're welcome.**

 **Lexa: I gotta shower before your mom gets here….**

 **Clarke: Okay**

 **Lexa: I love you**

 **Clarke: I love you too.**

Raven came out from down the hall her hair in a newly put up pony tail yawning.

"Morning Rae"

"Coffee" Raven said.

"Fresh pot made…" Raven was heading for the kitchen but Clarke could see her friend limping some. "Rae, come sit, I'll get it for you."

Raven just nodded not fighting with her best friend and Clarke got up and got her a cup of coffee, splashing some milk in it and putting a ridiculous amount of sugar in it like she knew Raven took it. She sat back down on the couch and handed her the cup.

"Take Prostie off and let me rub it" Clarke said motioning towards Raven's leg.

"No…" Raven shook her head.

"It hurts Rae and my guess is your stubborn self hasn't let Anya in on the secret yet, I haven't rubbed it in weeks and you know you can't get it as good yourself."

Raven just nodded and began to unfasten her leg removing it, Clarke had seen her do it so many times before but yet Raven always seemed a bit uneasy doing it around her. She lost her leg when she was seventeen she was out for a run and was hit by a car. Clarke and Octavia were both there for the dark times that fell after, but once she became accustom to the prosthetic and began therapy for both her body and her mind, Raven started to become Raven again.

"There" Raven said putting her leg up for Clarke. Clarke scooted closer, and touched it softly first, examining the skin around it.

"Raven…" Clarke winced.

"I know" Raven said.

"What the hell…" It was starting to blister, "You can't wear your leg when it's like this… you know that!"

"I know" Raven nodded.

"Why haven't you been using your crutches?"

Raven just shrugged.

"She won't care, Rae" Clarke said softly.

"It's me not her" Raven said.

"Has she seen you without it?" Raven asked.

"Yes" Raven told her, "A lot."

"So…"

"I don't know, I only take it off for sleep and when were in bed and one morning last month when it was really bugging me" Raven told her.

"Raven it's been bad for a month?" Clarke shook her head.

"Yeah" Raven nodded, "I need a new one…"

"Then get a new one Rae."

"I can't afford it right now" Raven said.

"Well…"

"Don't even finish that sentence!" Raven warned her.

"Your so stubborn Rae, it's not like we can't afford it."

"Clarke!"

"Okay…" Clarke said dropping it, "Can you at least stop wearing that one till this heals?"

Raven sighed.

"I will tell her Rae, you either do it or I will. You can't let this get bad you know the risks."

"I know" Raven nodded.

"Thank you" Clarke said.

"Hey people" Octavia said walking out into the living room.

"Hey" Clarke smiled.

"Hi" Raven said, glancing towards her leg.

"Relax, he's a sleep but even still it's not a big deal Rae" Octavia said.

"Did you wear him out?" Raven smirked.

"No" Octavia said getting herself a cup of coffee then joining her friends on the couch. "I didn't even end up in there until like four thirty this morning. I just woke up and needed to go lay with him, I'm sorry" she looked to Clarke.

"I had Rae I was fine I get it… I had to text Lexa this morning" Clarke shrugged.

Raven hit her. "Ouch! What was that for?"

"Because I have been up for like twenty minutes and you had yet to mention you talked to your wife" Raven said.

"That's because I haven't REALLY talked to her yet, we just texted about stupid stuff this morning. I just needed her, I guess" Clarke said.

"Understandable" Octavia said.

"But she is going to breakfast or coffee or something with my mom at nine Anya is watching the kids at my house, I thought maybe we could all go over there? I was going to suggest Rae make family breakfast but…"

"But what I would love to" Raven said.

Clarke looked at her leg.

"I am ok… I promise I won't put Prostie back on, okay?"

Octavia laughed, "How did that name stick from junior year?"

"It was all her" Raven pointed.

"It was Christmas time and cold…. and I was just… I don't know" Clarke laughed.

"So family breakfast?" Octavia asked.

"Yes!" Raven said, "I miss Anya."

"Eeww" Octavia and Clarke laughed.

"Says the girl who crawled into bed with her husband this morning and the other one who texted her wife as soon as she opened her eyes" Raven scoffed.

"Okay point" Octavia said "I will wake Lincoln and we can go."

"Just Pj's right, cause I don't wanna …" Raven trailed off.

"God yes, it's my house and Saturday family breakfast" Clarke said.

"Perfect" Raven said.

/

The four of them arrived at Clarke's house a little after nine as much as she wanted to see Lexa she didn't and wanted to get there after she knew she'd be gone.

"Mommy!" Kate said, but as soon as she saw her auntie's and uncle she ran for them.

"Haha old news" Octavia said scooping up Kate.

"Can I at least have a kiss?" Clarke said kissing the little blonde in her auntie's arms "Where is brother?"

"With Yaya, on couch… Rae-Rae, no leg?"

"Not today Kate, just crutches" Raven smiled at her niece.

"Where Prostie?" Kate asked.

All three girls cracked up.

"In the car taking a nap" Raven told her.

"Ohhhh okay" Kate nodded.

"I am going to go say hi to your Yaya and then make breakfast, want to help me?"

"Yes!" Kate said.

They all made their way into the family room, Raven sat next to her girlfriend. "Hi, babe" Anya said pecking her lips quick.

"Hi, I am going to make breakfast" Raven said "just wanted to say hi first."

"Well hi" Anya said nudging her with her shoulder, "You look cute in your pj's."

"Hi Auntie Rae" Jake said snuggled into Anya not taking his eyes off the tv.

"Hi Bud" Raven said, "Your uncle Lincoln and Auntie O are here too, with Mom."

"Mom is back?"

"Yeah, they were right behind me I thought" Raven said.

"Hey" Lincoln said walking in.

"Uncle Linc!" Jacob got up off the couch and jumped into his arms.

"Hey buddy" Lincoln said.

Lincoln and Jake had always had a very special bond Clarke knew it was because Lincoln was really the only male in Jacob's life, besides Bellamy.

"Can we play catch today?" Jacob asked excited.

"Of course we can" Lincoln said "I believe we are here all day for family day."

"Is Uncle Bell coming over too?" Jacob asked.

"Oh crap I should probably text him and see what he's doing…"Octavia laughed.

"Yeah, you should" Clarke said.

"Okay kiss me again then go cook, these kids are hungry" Anya said.

"Yes ma'am" Raven said kissing her girlfriend one more time.

"I'll go with you" Clarke said.

"And me" Kate said, "Hold me Rae-rae?"

"I can't today honey" Raven said.

"Come here, mommy will hold you" Clarke said.

"Yet another reason I don't like to not wear my leg" She looked to Clarke, "I can't hold her."

"She will live for a few weeks." Clarke laughed.

/

"So what's really going on Lex?" Abby said they were sitting in a park drinking coffee.

"I just told you" Lexa said, she had just gotten done giving Abby the run through on the past few weeks.

"No, you told me why you and Clarke have been fighting, but what's really going on with you?" Abby asked. "Why are you throwing yourself into work again, you know what you committed to when you started this company so, what's up?"

Lexa sighed.

"Lexa… You can talk to me, you know this."

"I know" Lexa nodded.

"So" Abby pressed for more.

"This is what I do" Lexa started, "This is my role to play in our family".

"I'm not following you" Abby said.

"I don't have the nurturing gene I don't have the Mom gene like she does. She's the Mom, I am the Mother." Lexa looked to Abby but she didn't say anything instead she just looked at Lexa to say go on. "I didn't have a Mom, I had a mother. Growing up I had someone who made sure I had what I needed, that I was taken care of, financially and physically. Clarke grew up with you she had a mom, someone who did those things and more took care of her emotionally, as well. My mom was never there and I know she didn't ever really want to be there. I didn't have that, so I feel like I am incapable of being that. I can be the parent who provides, who makes sure they have what they need… I am good at that part."

"Lexa…" Abby said "You are already all those things. You love those kids SO much anyone can see that, you play with them and snuggle them. You are already so much better than she was" Abby said softly. "My guess is when she was gone you didn't ask for her, did you?"

"No I asked for my aunt or my Nanny" Lexa said.

"See, those kids they ask for their Momma, Lexa. They light up when they see you and you them. Yesterday when you got to Jake's game the second Kate saw you, who did she want? You. And Jake, as soon as he came off that felid who did he run too? You, Lexa. You have to see that you have always been better than she ever was and that you do have that gene, you are nurturing and soft with them. You care about them Lexa, more than anything in this world and I know that. So don't run away from them… Don't pull away from them, for their sake and for yours their only little once Lex, don't miss that." Abby put her hand on Lexa's shoulder, tears forming in Lexa's eyes.

"Thank you" Lexa said.

"I didn't do anything, Lexa. I just told you what was already there."

"You always know, you always know when there is something going on" Lexa said.

"You came into my life when you were twenty-one Lexa, I got to know you pretty well" Abby said.

"You have been more of a mom to me than she ever was."

"And I am so proud of you, Lexa." Abby pulled her in so her head was on her shoulder and kissed her hair. "I love you and I love those babies you gave me, being a grandma is incredible. I can't wait till this next one comes out looking just like you."

"I am worried about that…" Lexa said.

"Why you're cute" Abby smiled.

Lexa laughed, "The genes thing, I'm kinda messed up."

"You're fine, Lexa. How's the anxiety been?" Abby asked.

"Was great until about three weeks ago" Lexa told her.

Well, you need to get this all figured out before it gets bad again."

"I know" Lexa nodded.

"And you need to tell Clarke its creeping back up" Abby said.

"Okay…" Lexa said hesitantly.

"I love you, Lexa" Abby said.

"I love you too" Lexa said.

"Should we get back to the house, I hear its family day and Raven cooked."

"Sounds great" Lexa smiled.

/

Abby and Lexa had been home a few hours everyone was at the house now even Bellamy made his way over. Currently he and Lincoln were outside with Jacob playing catch while Lexa, Anya and Kate were sitting outside on the deck watching them.

Clarke, Octavia, and Raven were sitting on the couch still in pajama's with the tv on in the background, though they were paying no attention to it.

"So" Octavia asked "Have you even said anything to each other?"

"Other than hey, No" Clarke shook her head.

"You need to talk to her Clarke" Raven said.

"I will, but I am really enjoying family day."

"Wouldn't you rather talk to her early so you can enjoy family day with her too?" Abby asked walking in standing behind the couch.

"Yes" Clarke sighed "Why do you have to always be right?"

Abby shrugged "I'm a mom, it's what we do."

"Yeah you know that" Raven said, "You have Mom-logic remember?"

"Okay, I will go see if she wants to go for a drive now" Clarke said. "I imagine there are enough of you guys here to assume my kids are fine, yes?"

"Of course" Octavia said.

"No, were all going to leave when you do" Raven rolled her eyes.

"Go" Abby said.

Clarke wandered out to the back porch and walked over to where Lexa and Anya were sitting Kate now playing with her uncles and brother in the grass.

"Hey" she said to her wife.

"Hi" Lexa said.

"Um, I was wondering if you wanted to talk now…" Clarke asked.

"Yeah, you wanna go somewhere or just go to our room?"

"I figured I could get dressed and we could drive around some, or find a spot to talk?"

"I think that sounds good" Lexa nodded, "Just come get me when you're ready."

"Will do" Clarke nodded, then smiled at Anya and headed back into the house.

/

About twenty minutes later Lexa and Clarke snuck out of the house so the kids wouldn't freak out, though all of their family was there they wanted to avoid the "can we go with you" question.

"I don't want to fight with you" Lexa said.

"Me either" Clarke said as Lexa drove, "but you need to understand that there have been some things happening lately that I can't take anymore."

"I know" Lexa said softly "I understand that."

"And I… I have been really mad at you Lexa because I feel like you just gave up, like you just checked out on me and the kids and left us to do this alone."

"I am sorry" Lexa said, "That was never my intention…"

"So your intention is to go to Syria and then what?" Clarke asked.

Lexa had driven them down near the river and parked in a pretty quiet spot.

"So" Lexa said, turning off the car she just looked at Clarke "First, I need you to know I was never going to go to Syria, ever. I wasn't even considering it."

"No?" Clarke asked.

"Of course not, how could you think that I would leave you?" Lexa asked.

"You haven't really been around, Lex" Clarke said.

"Fair but Syria, Clarke?"

"Well… I guess I just got scared you missed it."

"I am not going to say that I don't, but it's not my life anymore and I don't want it to be" Lexa said honestly.

"Okay" Clarke said. "But you have been so MIA Lex"

"I know, and it isn't okay"

"You're right, but you have continued to do it anyways" Clarkes said.

"I know" Lexa nodded, "And I have no excuses for it besides to tell you that I need to explain somethings…"

"Alright…"

"So I talked to your mom this morning…"

"Mom" Clarke said, "She's not just my mom, Lex."

Lexa just nodded, "She always knows when there is something going on… with me which there sorda is." Lexa took a deep breath. "I guess I have kinda been immersing myself into work because I feel like that is all I am good for in this family."

"What?" Clarke asked.

"Like, you're the mom, you're the sensitive nurturing parent and I'm… the provider. I am good at that part, Clarke… I know how to play that role. I don't feel like I play the other as well, not like you, you're the best mom."

"Lexa…" Clarke said. "You're an amazing mom."

"I just… I didn't have the role models you did as parents. My parents just made sure I didn't want for anything but they were never around. I can do that, I can provide."

"We need you for more than that Lex…" Clarke said.

"I know" Lexa said, tears forming in her eyes "and I want to be more than that, I love those kids more than anything in this whole world… I just want to be a good mom" Lexa said.

"You are and you have been for Seven years. Where is this coming from all of the sudden?" Clarke asked confused.

"I don't know" Lexa said putting her head in her hands. "I knew when I stated this company I needed to watch my balance, because I know how I can be with work. But I got on a roll and I was good at it, and before I knew it I had this mindset of I needed to be the provider that it was my role in the family."

"Well it's not, I mean yes you provide for us Lex. But let's be honest… we don't need the money really. We are more than set up between the inheritance, your retirement from the military and the investments you've made. What we need Lex, both the kids and me is you" Clarke said.

"I know and I realize that, I'm sorry I am… just… I feel like since I've been fucking up all the time, I am… drowning."

"The anxiety?" Clarke asked.

"Yeah some" Lexa said.

"Lexa…"

"I know, and I know I should have said something, but to be honest I didn't want to make it sound like an excuse and every time we've tried to talk lately we just yell and scream" Lexa sighed.

"I know I hate it" Clarke said.

"Me too" Lexa nodded.

"So, we fix it." Clarke said.

"I just…" Lexa started.

"What?"

"Until this first group is sent off, I'm not going to be able to pull back too much… I want to, I really do, but I've already made commitments and need to get them over there" Lexa played with her hands.

"Some?" Clarke asked.

Lexa nodded looking up "Yes, I will commit to some."

Clarke shrugged, "Well then we just have to get through the next few months and then hopefully we can get back to some normal after that."

"I promise once I get the first group there and set, I'm scaling back" Lexa said.

"Okay… I will take that" Clarke said "but you need to really mean that."

"I really mean it" Lexa nodded.

"Alright" Clarke sighed.

"What about everything else?" Lexa asked.

"We move past it."

"Even though you said you wanted me to find an apartment and only see the kids every other weekend?" Lexa asked.

"I'm sorry" Clarke said "really, I was mad and I shouldn't have said it."

"I don't want it to ever come to that though" Lexa wiped tears from her eyes. "I'd give up everything before I let that happen."

"I want to believe that Lexa" Clarke sighed.

"I will show you, I never want to live without you or the kids."

"Sometimes you can just pull so far away though Lexa, you can't do that. We're a team, I am here for you."

"I know, I don't mean to. I'm sorry I will work on it" Lexa nodded.

"And I'm sorry when I get hurt I push you away" Clarke looked at Lexa with such sad eyes.

"I want us back, I don't want to lose us" Lexa said softly.

"Me either never leave," Clarke kissed Lexa "no matter how hard I can push."

"As long as you don't let me go, no matter how hard I pull" Lexa said.

"Deal" Clarke smiled.

"Deal" Lexa kissed her again.

/


	10. pumpkin muffins

Pumpkin Muffins

It had been two weeks since they talked about everything and things were finally falling into somewhat of a routine.

Lexa was really trying and Clarke noticed it, since she had been getting ready for her art show which was a little over a week away; Lexa would pick up the kids from the studio once a week at four so she could paint. She had been home for dinner at least one other night a week on top of that. It was Friday and Clarke was at her studio painting, she only had two more pieces to put finishing touches on then she was done. She was really proud of these pieces but was a little hesitant for Lexa to see them.

"Hey" Octavia said coming into the room, "I'm here."

"Hey, thanks for coming" Clarke said.

"Yeah of course, what's up? Your text's sounded a little cryptic, not Lexa stuff again right?"

"No" The blonde shook her head. "Well we're not fighting… not yet at least that's why I need your opinion."

"Okay…" Octavia said "again with the cryptic."

"Sorry, so I lined up my paintings some not finished completely mind you but still, tell me honestly."

"Tell you honestly what?" Octavia said looking at them.

"Look at them, really look, and tell me…" Clarke said.

"I love when you get all weird about your paintings and I mean that in the best way, honest." Octavia said stepping forward to get a better look at each one.

Clarke stood back and watched her look, after a few minutes she broke the silence "So?"

"There amazing" Octavia said, "some of your best work to date…"

"But do you think… Lexa will…"

Octavia turned and looked at Clarke, "I think that they're honest, and raw, and real. And I don't think that she will fault you for that."

"Will they hurt her?" Clarke asked.

"Maybe only because they're truthful. But she is going to think that they're beautiful as well. And only five of the twenty, I think stand out to me… as you guys."

"Okay, good" Clarke nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome…" Octavia sat down, "How have things been?""

"Good still I mean not perfect yet by any means, but she really is putting in an effort. She picked the kids up at four today and is making dinner and putting them to bed. I will get home late since it's my night to paint, I just needed to finish up things here because I don't want to have to paint this weekend at all with getting Jake ready for school Monday."

"I know, first grade!" Octavia said excited.

Clarke winced.

"You still haven't come to terms with that one yet huh?" Octavia asked.

"That my baby is going to be a first grader? No, no I haven't" Clarke shook her head.

"Have you told Lincoln yet?"

"About what?" Octavia asked.

"That Jacob is going to be a first grader! What do you think, O? That there is a tiny human in your belly maybe…" Clarke laughed.

"Oh yeah, no not yet I am going to this weekend though."

"What have you been waiting for?" Clarke asked.

"I just wanted to give it a few weeks and be sure my body didn't start and trick me or something, I don't know" Octavia shook her head.

"But you're good?"

"I have peed on three pregnancy tests, been throwing up and my boobs hurt. Yeah I think I'm in the clear, there is totally a tiny human in there I believe."

"Did you make an appointment yet?" Clarke asked.

"No I need to" Octavia said.

"Okay well if you have a hard time getting an appointment anywhere let me know. I will give you my doctors number."

"Thanks" Octavia said, "I should probably get home Linc will be there in an hour or so."

"Yeah, I need to finish a couple of things then get home If I would actually like to see my wife tonight" Clarke nodded.

"I think she will love your paintings, I do at least and I love you too."

"Thanks O that means a lot… thanks for coming by I love you too. Girls night soon, please" Clarke said.

"Sounds good to me if we can pull Rae away from Anya long enough" Octavia rolled her eyes.

"I know totally" Clarke said waving goodbye to her friend and returning to her work.

/

"Hey" Clarke said walking in the door, it was nearing nine o'clock and she figured the kids would be asleep.

"Hi babe" Lexa said sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in front of her.

"How were the kids tonight?" Clarke asked.

"Great, both went down a little earlier than I expected. I was going to try and keep them awake for you but they were both exhausted" Lexa explained.

"I understand" Clarke sat next to Lex and snuggled into her. "I knew I would be late tonight, I'm just finishing up some last minute things."

"No problem at all" Lexa kissed her head, "Hungry?"

"Yes, starved" Clarke said.

"I sort of figured you would be, I know you don't normally stop and eat when you're on a roll, let me heat you up some dinner."

"Do you mind if I take a quick shower while you do that?" Clarke asked.

"Of course not" Lexa said standing up, "I will meet you right back here with a plate of hot food."

/

About twenty minutes later Clarke walked down the stairs Lexa was sitting on the couch her feet crossed underneath her, her phone in her hand.

"Work?" Clarke asked sitting down.

"No Raven" Lexa said, "I will put it down now though."

"You're okay, speaking of Rae though… I've been meaning to talk to you about something" Clarke said.

"Okay…" Lexa put down her phone.

Clarke picked up the plate of food off the coffee table and sat down next to Lexa, "this looks great thank you."

"Of course" Lexa said.

Clarke took a sip of her water, "So a couple of weeks ago when I slept over at Octavia's with Rae, she and I talked that morning and her leg had been bothering her. I asked her to let me rub it because I know she more than likely wasn't letting Anya…"

"She isn't or at least wasn't then, I don't know about now" Lexa shrugged.

"That is kind of what I thought, so when she took off Prostie her leg was starting to get all blistered" Clarke explained taking a bite of her dinner.

"Not good" Lexa shook her head.

"No so I asked her why it was like that and she said she needed a new one, but she can't afford it right now."

"Well then we will help her" Lexa said without any pause.

"I tried to bring that up, but she shot me down before I could even get the words out of my mouth" Clarke said.

"Well she can't just not get a new prosthetic" Lexa said.

"I agree… it's not an option." Clarke sighed.

"Well, who do we know that we can contact to figure out how to get the ball rolling on getting her a new one?" Lexa asked.

"I kinda think Mom, she did something with Raven while she was here… alone and I think it was regarding her leg."

"Okay yeah good idea" Lexa said.

"So we are going to buy her a new Prostie right?" Clarke asked.

"Yes, of course" Lexa nodded.

"Okay good" Clarke said. "Thank you, I figured you would say that but I just wanted to be sure before I pressed forward with the subject."

"Of course… she's family. So how'd today go?" Lexa asked.

"Good, I got a lot done and I think I really only have one piece left to complete besides naming everything and last looks" Clarke explained.

"Well I am glad that things are going well, when do I get to see or do I have to wait for the show like everyone else?"

"I've been thinking about that myself…"

"And what have you come up with?"

"That I want you to see them before… I think. Give me a few days to finish everything?" Clarke asked.

Lexa leaned over and kissed Clarke, "Of course love."

"Thanks, how was work for you?" Clarke asked her.

"UGH!" Lexa rolled her eyes.

"That good, huh?" Clarke laughed.

"Ontari is up my ass ever since DC she is just all over me. Indra said today that she wanted to have a video conference call with me tomorrow."

"On a Saturday?"

"Yeah, which isn't happening by the way don't worry. So I emailed her and told her I could do it Monday late morning, to which she came back with why not first thing Monday morning? So I sent her another email and explained that I wouldn't be in the office until nine-forty five Monday and she asked me why?!" Lexa scoffed.

"She didn't!" Clarke said taking a bite and hanging on every word of the story, feeling like she was more into it then she should have been.

"She did, I was so heated… She isn't my boss I don't work for her I'm my own fucking boss!"

"Yeah you are!" Clarke interjected, "Did you tell her that?"

"More or less yes, I sent her an email back and pretty much just said, in the most passive aggressive way possible, that it was a family matter and that I would be available at ten-thirty for a meeting and if she wanted to do it then to let me know" Lexa told Clarke.

"Did she say anything back?"

"No, well yes but just that ten thirty would have to be okay then and she hoped I had a _pleasant weekend"_ Lexa rolled her eyes.

Clarke busted up laughing at the tone in Lexa's voice when she said pleasant weekend and immediately Lexa's face got soft and Clarke could see the smile forming on her wife's face as well.

"THEN" Lexa continued, "Indra pretty much bitched me out for telling Ontari that… even though she KNOWS Jacob starts school on Monday and I'm not going to miss it. And she was pissy already because I had planned to leave at three thirty today."

"Sounds like the Commander may have been out some today, huh?" Clarke asked with a smirk.

"She gets shit done" Lexa nodded with a small smile.

Clarke smiled and bit her lower lip back "I like her… she's hot!"

"Do you now?" Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded "Can we go upstairs now?"

"When you are done eating, sure" Lexa said.

"I am done" Clarke said putting her plate on the coffee table.

Lexa stood up and grabbed Clarke's hand "Then come with me."

"Oh I would love to" Clarke smirked following her wife.

/

"Mommmmmma" Clarke heard Kate scream over the intercom.

"Kate" Lexa jumped up out of a dead sleep to pull on clothes.

Clarke wanted to follow but decided to let her wife handle this one.

"Let me know if you need me" Clarke told her.

"Will do," Lexa said heading out the door to her daughter's room.

Clarke leaned over and turned off the intercom in Kate's room and closed her eyes for what felt like seconds when she heard the beep of the intercom, "Clarke, baby?"

"Yes?" Clarke spoke after pushing the button on the wall by her side of the bed again.

"Can you put clothes on please? I am going to bring K to our bed" Lexa said.

"Yes" Clarke said not wanting to get up.

She got up and found the shirt Lexa had been wearing that day and pulled on a pair of boy-short underwear and crawled back into bed, Lexa walked in carrying Kate.

"Mommy" Kate smiled sleepily.

"Kate my love" Clarke said in nearly the same raspy voice.

"I'm going to go strip her bed and get the sheets into the washer I will be right back" Lexa told Clarke.

"It can wait until morning Babe" Clarke said.

"No it will only take me a few minutes" Lexa said "Close your eyes, both of you." Lexa handed Kate to Clarke after she kissed her head and headed out the door again.

"I sorry" Kate said.

"Hey it's okay love, come snuggle with Mommy."

"I pee-pee in my bed" Kate said in a sad voice snuggling into Clarke.

"Accidents happen Kate Momma is fixing it and you can sleep with us for the rest of the night okay?" Clarke kissed her head.

"Okay" Kate shook her head, "I love you" the little girl yawned.

"I love you too, close your eyes baby."

"Okay" Kate said already drifting to sleep as Clarke ran her fingers through her blonde curls.

She was nearly asleep herself when she felt Lexa slide back into bed, "All done" She whispered, "did she fall back to sleep?"

"Yes, pretty quick too" Clarke said.

Lexa kissed Kates little head "I think we need to start sleeping her in a pullup again."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Clarke asked "Don't you think that may just regress her more?"

"We can talk about it in the morning" Lexa kissed Clarke, "I love you."

"I love you too" Clarke said.

/

Lexa woke up first the next morning mainly because Kate woke up, also because it was nearing seven o'clock; they never slept this late. "Shhh" She said gesturing to Clarke, "Mommy is still sleeping let's go downstairs and let her get some more rest."

"Shhh" Kate said copying her Momma.

On their way down Lexa looked into Jacob's room surprised to see it was empty. When they got down the stairs she could smell food cooking as well, which made her nervous but Jake wouldn't try and cook he knew better than that, right?

"Hi Momma" He said from the couch as she came around the corner and came into view, she saw Anya sitting with him.

"Well….hi" She said shocked "Did you break into my house this morning?"

"No, I used to the key code… DUH" Anya said.

"Yaya!" Kate said happy to see her auntie. "What smell good?"

"That would be in here, Kate!" Raven said standing in the kitchen cooking "Rae-Rae is making your breakfast!"

"Rae-Rae!" Kate said excited.

"Family day?" Lexa asked.

"Impromptu, yes… Hope that's ok?" Anya said.

"Of course!" Lexa smiled.

"I would have texted but we wanted to surprise you. When we got here, Jake was on the couch watching cartoons and told us you three girls were sleeping" Anya said.

"Yeah Kate had us up at about three am, Clarke is actually still out."

"Oh can I go wake her up, please?" Raven asked.

"Sure" Lexa giggled, "You know how she can be in the morning though so go at your own risk!"

Raven ran out from the kitchen and kissed Lexa on her cheek, stealing a quick kiss from Kate before heading upstairs.

"She's wearing her leg" Lexa whispered to Anya.

"Yeah she started again this week, why?"

"Well, she shouldn't be" Lexa said.

"Why not?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah why no leg?" Kate asked.

"Crap, come help me check on breakfast in the kitchen" Lexa said putting Kate down next to Jacob kissing his head, "Good morning son"

"Morning Momma" he smiled.

/

Raven got into Clarke's room and climbed on top of her in bed, "Wakey wakey!" She said annoyingly to wake Clarke up.

"Wha—what?" Clarke said confused as she came to, "Rae?"

"Yep, it's me!" Raven said cheery.

"What are you doing here?" Clarke Yawned.

"Anya and I came over and I made you breakfast"

"You are amazing" Clarke said rolling over snuggling into her best friend.

"I know I am, it's not quite ready yet the muffins and French toast are in the oven still and then I have to cook the eggs but that's quick" Raven told her.

"Pumpkin muffins?" Clarke asked with a smile.

"Yes and blueberry because knowing you, you will monopolize the pumpkin ones." Raven laughed.

"Are Lincoln and O coming?" Clarke asked.

"We should call them I made more than enough food."

"Let's facetime her" Clarke said.

"She will hate us this early in the morning" Raven said "I love it!"

Clarke grabbed her phone and facetime called Octavia.

"Hello" Octavia said clearly naked just a sheet covering her.

"O did you and Lincoln… Bow chick-a-wow-wow" Raven sang.

Clarke cracked up.

"Did you and Raven?" Octavia asked with an arched brow, joking.

"Lexa doesn't like to share" Raven shook her head.

"Rae!" Octavia yelled.

"I was kiiddddding" Raven laughed, "Lighten up don't get all weird now that you know."

"Wanna come over?" Clarke said changing the subject, "Raven made muffins!"

"PUMPKIN?" Octavia asked just as excited as Clarke had.

"Yes and normally I wouldn't share but since you are m…" Clarke stopped talking since she didn't know if she had told Lincoln yet. "….. mmmy best friend, I'll share."

"It's okay, I told him!" Octavia said.

"Hence the sex" Lincoln said, sitting up waving at the girls.

"CONGRATS!" Raven said.

"On the sex or the baby?" Lincoln asked.

"Both!" Clarke laughed "Come over for breakfast so we can celebrate!"

"Sounds good we will be there soon" Lincoln said.

"Looks like we're coming save me a muffin" Octavia said.

"Love you!" Clarke said.

"Not as much as me!" Raven said.

"Lies!" Clarke hit raven.

"Ouch, Clarke!" Raven hit Clarke back.

"Okay, I am going to go… I will see you in a few" Octavia said. "I love you both, even though sometimes I question why."

"Bye!" both girls said before Octavia disconnected the call.

/


	11. First grade play dates and Compromises

"Lexa" Clarke kissed her wife to wake her.

The brunette stirred and stretched as she opened her eyes, "What time is it?"

"Five, I need to shower and I know Kate is going to be up soon. Can I turn on the intercom to her room and get in?"

"Of course, May I have a kiss?" Lexa asked sleepily. Clarke leaned over and kissed her wife, "Our baby starts school today."

"I know I can't believe it!" Clarke said.

"He is going to do fantastic he is a smart little man, just like his Mom" Lexa smiled.

"You mean his Momma…"

"He didn't come from me you get all the credit with the genes, now go shower."

Clarke kissed Lexa once more and then headed to the shower. Lexa leaned over and grabbed her phone off the night stand and saw she already had three work emails, she didn't want to open any but one was marked urgent and from Roan so she clicked on it.

 **From: Roan**

 **To: Lexa**

 **Subject: Today… urgent.**

 **Hello Commander,**

 **I just wanted to touch base with you about your meeting with Ontari today. PLEASE be opened to what she has to say. I know you two haven't seen eye to eye lately, and I understand. But for the sake of our company and continuing to work with the USMC I would really appreciate it if you could… not let your temper get the best of you.**

 **Thank you,**

 **Roan**

Lexa almost laughed, she could hear Roan as she read the email and if she didn't like him so much she would have responded with some smart ass email back, letting her temper get the best of her then but Roan and her were friends now that he was no longer her superior and they were in business together. She also still respected him and knew that if he was asking her to be opened minded that meant Ontari was bound to piss her off today. He clearly just wanted to warn her and make sure she stayed calm, she wrote back really fast.

 **To: Roan**

 **From: Lexa**

 **Subject: I will try…**

 **I hear what you are saying Roan and for the sake of the company I'm willing to try and keep my temper in check. But she has been up my ass lately and I don't even know why. I don't work for her, I work with her. She hired us she sought us out so obviously we know what we are doing. But I hear you and I understand.**

 **Thanks,**

 **Lexa**

She looked up and saw Clarke walked out wrapped in her towel with wet h _a_ ir.

"Hi" Clarke smiled.

"Hey" Lexa said.

"Work already?"

"Ugh, Yes! Roan emailed me wants me to be calm today when I talk to Ontari."

"Well maybe I can help with that?" Clarke smirked.

"Oh yeah… how?"

Clarke dropped her towel and walked towards Lexa, "I have a few ideas."

"Is the door locked?" Lexa asked with an arched brow.

Clarke just nodded as she climbed on top of Lexa who took off her glasses and put them on her nightstand. "Oh I like where this is going."

Clarke straddled her wife and kissed her, "Me too."

Lexa let her hands run up Clarke's thighs and up her back deepening their kiss.

"Mom…" the little voice called.

Both women froze.

Then there was a knock on the door "Mom… Momma?"

"Shit" Lexa said.

"Our first grader is up" Clarke said and then kissed Lexa once more, "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault" Lexa sighed clearly worked up already.

"I will be right there buddy just give me a minute" Clarke called to Jacob.

"Okay" Jacob said.

Clarke pulled on some clothes and kissed Lexa, "Get dressed and meet us downstairs."

"I may need to take care of the ache between my legs first" Lexa winked.

"By yourself?" Clarke asked.

"Well you can't help me" Lexa gestured to the door where Jacob was knocking again.

"I'm coming Jake, Seriously… that's not fair!" Clarke looked to Lexa and headed to the door.

"You started it!" Lexa teased as Clarke opened the door and headed into the hall.

"Are you all ready?" Lexa asked Jacob.

"Yes!" Jacob said.

"Backpack?" She asked.

"Check!"

"Lunch?"

"Check!" Jacob said.

"School supplies?"

"Check!" He laughed now.

"Hug from Momma?" she smiled.

Jacob ran over and plummeted into Lexa, "I love you Momma" He said.

"I love you son, I'm so proud of you!"

"Why?" He asked.

"Because you are becoming such a big boy I can't believe you are starting first grade today" Lexa beamed.

"Are we ready to go?" Clarke asked coming down the stairs with Kate in her arms.

"We are!" Lexa said, "Little man has everything he needs."

"I can't believe you are going to be in the first grade, Jacob I'm so proud of you!" Clarke said.

Jacob laughed.

"What's funny?" Clarke asked.

"Momma just said the SAME thing to me" Jacob told her.

"Well, it's because we are both so proud!" Clarke said kissing his head "Come on, we better get you to school."

"I'm so excited!" Jacob said.

"I bet!" Lexa said.

"I wanna go school too!" Kate said.

"Next week Kate" Lexa said.

"Ugh, why can't you both stay little forever?" Clarke exclaimed.

/

"That was traumatic" Clarke said getting back in the car.

"You did cry a lot" Lexa smiled.

"He's our baby, well our first baby and he's not little anymore." Clarke looked over her shoulder to Kate in the backseat "and neither is she!"

"Well we have another one on the way" Lexa said.

Clarke put her hands on her belly "Thank goodness for that! This one will stay little forever right?"

Lexa laughed "No, I'm afraid not honey."

"Well then we need to keep having babies forever Lex!"

"That's not going to happen either" Lexa said.

"Why!?" Clarke asked.

"Remember this morning Clarke? I would like to have a time in our life again when were not interrupted… and if we keep having babies that's never going to happen!"

"Point taken" Clarke said "did you… finish what we started by the way?"

Lexa just smirked with a nod.

"Lexa!"

"Well, I didn't want to go to work all… hyped up. I needed the release after you got me worked up Clarke" Lexa giggled.

"Not fair" Clarke sighed. 

Lexa got to work surprised to see she was the only one in the office that morning, but not bugged by it by any means. She got into her office and checked some emails before preparing for her video-conference with Ontari in the next few minutes. To say she was less than excited for this meeting would have been an understatement. She decided to text Anya a picture of Jacob at his desk while she still had some time, she opened their messages and attached the picture.

 **Lexa: Well there it is Anya… I have a first grader!**

A few moments later her phone beeped on her desk.

 **Anya: Look at how big he is! I love his little self… how do you feel about that?**

 **Lexa: OLD! How in the hell do I have a first grader, An?**

 **Anya: Cause you an Clarke procreated early… haha.**

Lexa's computer beeped indicating that Ontari was calling.

 **Lexa: Fuck me I gotta go! meeting with the General. I will text you later, Love you!**

 **Anya: GL w/that… love you too!**

Lexa hit accept on the video call and sat up a little straighter when she saw General Ontari on the screen.

"Hello Alexandria" Ontari said.

Everyone in her professional world called her Alexandria or Commander, Besides Indra and Roan who just called her Lexa now that they worked so closely together.

"Hello General" Lexa said with a polite tip of her head.

"I hope you are well?" Ontari asked in a way that let Lexa know she didn't really want an answer. "We need to discuss your Deployment day."

"You mean my team's deployment" Lexa clarified.

"Yes… I guess even though I really do wish you would reconsider and go. It is very important" Ontari said.

"I am sorry General, as I explained it's not an option for me to travel in that capacity anymore" Lexa explained again.

"But it's an option for you to work with us in that capacity still..." Ontari wasn't asking a question and Lexa knew just what she was saying and she knew this is what Roan was talking about. This is where she needed to keep her cool for the good of the company.

"General, I understand that you would like me there but when I retired from the Marine Corps and had a family I made commitments here."

"But did you not make commitments when you started this company? Did you not make commitments to me when I signed the contract?" Ontari asked firmly.

"Yes, I did" Lexa nodded "and I am and I have been fulfilling them, General. I'm sending the best of the best over there to train and teach your men" Lexa said remaining calm.

"I beg to differ Commander because I do believe you are the best of the best, not your men."

"Well, I appreciate you saying that but I have personally trained them and I can ensure you that they are extremely qualified to come there and make sure your men are well trained and prepared" Lexa spoke.

"I hope that's true" Ontari said.

/

Clarke was at the park with her friend Harper. Harper and Monty's daughter Bella was Jacob's age and they had a daughter about eight months younger than Kate named Olivia.

"So, how did Bella do today?" Clarke asked.

"Really well she was so excited Jacob was in her class," Harper said.

"Those two are sweet together."

"Who knows, we may be in-laws one day" Harper laughed, "with the way Bella talks about Jacob."

Clarke laughed "He's the same way, that's his best friend for sure. I'm glad they're in the same class this year."

"Me too" Harper said. "How are things with Lexa?"

"Better" Clarke nodded.

"I saw she came to school today that was good."

"Yeah she took the morning off work and is going to be home early for dinner tonight too."

"Well that's something" Harper said.

"Yeah it really is" Clarke smiled, her phone chimed in her purse.

 **Lexa: UGH! I swear Clarke… Ontari is going to be the death of me!**

 **Clarke: I am sorry what happened… did the meeting not go well?**

"Her?" Harper asked nodding towards Clarke's phone.

"Yeah, she just had some big meeting… apparently it wasn't the best."

 **Lexa: It did it was fine… She just… is so abrasive….**

 **Clarke: Yeah cause people you work w/would describe Alexandria the Commander as warm and fuzzy, huh?**

 **Lexa: Point taken… what are you doing?**

 **Clarke: At the park for a play date with Olivia and Harper.**

 **Lexa: Fun tell Harp hi.**

"She says hi" Clarke said.

"Tell her hi" Harper said.

 **Clarke: She says hi back… what time will you be home tonight?**

 **Lexa: Early, around 330 I think…**

 **Clarke: :) love you**

 **Lexa: Love you too**

"She is coming home at three thirty…" Clarke said a little shocked.

"Wow, that is early" Harper said.

"I know, she said she would be home for dinner and to see the kids… but three thirty is amazing."

"Maybe she's getting it" Harper shrugged.

"God, I hope so Harp" Clarke sighed.

/

Lexa was just about to leave for the day when Indra stepped into her office, "Have a second?"

"I do" Lexa said "Then I'm heading home to see the kids and have dinner, to hear all about the big first day."

"This won't take long" Indra said "but I spoke with the General…"

"Okay" Lexa said sitting up straighter in her chair noting this was going to be one of those talks.

"I don't think it's a good idea to undermine her Lexa."

"She isn't my boss Indra" Lexa quipped back.

"We're under contract with her though and she is the General of the United States Marines." Indra said.

"Your point?" Lexa asked with a brow raised.

"I just feel like she has a point" Indra said.

"About Syria" Lexa asked quickly, "you've got to be kidding me Indra!"

"Yes, about Syria" Indra nodded.

"Well I'm sorry Indra that is not going to happen under any circumstances, it isn't even up for discussion!"

"Because?"

"You know the answer to this, I have a family now and going overseas is not an option for me anymore. You were aware of this when we decided to start the company Indra" Lexa was flabbergasted that Indra thought it would be something she would even consider.

"I was and I do know that" Indra nodded.

"So end of discussion… no actually there is no discussion on this. You know that like you just said, so no more talk about Syria" Lexa said firmly.

"Okay… well then, I'd like you to finish training me so I can go instead" Indra said.

"You would?" Lexa asked confused.

"Yes, I think that someone from our team needs to be there. Ontari needs to see that we're taking this seriously and I think that by sending one of our leads it will show her that." Indra nodded.

"Well okay then I can handle that, have you cleared it with Ontari?"

"I have" Indra said, "There is just one thing…"

Great Lexa thought to herself, what now. "And that would be?"

"Ontari needs you on the West Coast for four days to train Pike while he is back stateside" Indra told her.

"Okay that won't be a problem" She said noting it was a good compromise. "When is it?"

"You leave Sunday and will be back Thursday."

"But I have our doctor appointment on Monday and Kate starts school" Lexa said more to herself then Indra.

"I understand that" Indra said, "but you would be here for Clarke's art show originally Ontari wanted you to leave on Thursday and be gone longer."

"I can't Indra" Lexa shook her head.

"Your choice Commander but that was her deal" Indra said walking to the door, "I think it's a good compromise though. Say hello to Clarke and the kids for me, please?"

/


	12. Carbs and Sugar

Lexa walked in the door at four that afternoon Clarke was in the kitchen cooking, Jacob sitting at the bar working on homework.

"Hello" Lexa said kissing Clarke.

"Hi, you really are home early" Clarke said surprised when she saw what time it was.

"Hi Momma" Jacob said not taking his eyes off his work.

""Hey buddy" Lexa said to Jake "I told you I would be… Where is Kate?"

"Harper took her after school she will be home in an hour or so" Clarke looked at the clock on the wall.

"She is going to be exhausted tonight after a full day of playing."

"That's the plan" Clarke smiled.

"How was school?" Lexa looked to Jake.

"So good Momma my teacher is a boy" Jacob told her.

"Man" Lexa corrected his choice of words.

"Okay, a man" Jacob said "His name is Mr. Jordan and he is SO nice!"

"I'm so glad you like him Jacob," Lexa smiled.

"I was telling him that we know his teacher." Clarke said stirring something on the stove.

"Yep" Lexa said, "We sure do."

"That is really cool, is he like your friend?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah" Clarke said.

"How do you know him?" Jacob asked.

"He is friends with Bella's daddy Mr. Green and we met him through them" Lexa explained.

"Why didn't I meet him ever?" Jacob asked.

"You have but you were very little. Him and his wife moved away when you were about two, they just came back to Virginia not too long ago" Clarke said.

"That's neat!" Jacob said.

"It is" Lexa sat next to him "what are you working on?"

"A getting to know me worksheet, so Mr. Jordan can know who I am more" He said.

"Well that is sorda fun; do you have a lot of friends in your class?" Lexa asked him.

"Yes, Bella is in my class and that's so cool because last year in kindergarten she wasn't, and I only got to see her at recess but this year she sits RIGHT BY ME!" He said excited.

"Well good" Lexa said.

"Oh and Joshy is in my class too and Tyler and Gabe. Gabe doesn't like Bella though…" Jacob said coloring something now.

"Why not?" Clarke asked.

"I don't know" Jacob shrugged, "he got mad at me at recess when I played with her."

"Well that's silly, you can play with whomever you want" Clarke said.

"Yeah don't ostracize Isabella because the other boys don't like her" Lexa said.

Clarke laughed, knowing damn well her almost six year old would have no idea what ostracize meant.

"O- ostrich-size?" Jake asked trying to say the word.

"Good try" Clarke said.

"Os-truh-size" Lexa said it phonetically for him, "It means to leave someone out."

"Oh I'm not she's my best friend" Jacob said with a soft smile.

"You're a sweet boy Jake" Clarke said.

"Okay Momma has to change, I will be right back" She kissed the little boys head.

"Okay, Mom how do you spell sketching?" He asked Clarke.

"S-k-e-t-c-h-i-n-g" Clarke spelled out for him.

/

"We need to talk" Lexa said coming into their bedroom after putting the kids to bed.

"Lexa, I don't think I want to put her back in a pull up overnight." Clarke said not taking her eyes off her sketch she was working on in bed. "I have read a bunch of blogs on the subject and I think it will just make her lose confidence in herself, not fix the problem."

"Not what I wanted to talk about though I still think that needs to be discussed." Lexa said.

"Then what?" Clarke said sitting up and taking off her glasses now.

"Please don't yell at me…" Lexa said softly.

"Oh that's a great way to start off a conversation, Lex."

"I have to go out of town for a few days… it's not what I want to do, but Ontari needs me to go train Pike in California while he's stateside and I agreed to because it got her off my back about going to Syria" Lexa told her.

"Well I would much rather you go to California for a few days then Syria for a few months" Clarke said. "When's this trip?"

"Well, that's the thing" Lexa swallowed hard, "I would leave Sunday and be back Thursday."

"This Sunday?"

"Yeah, so I will be here for the showing but…"

"Not the doctor's appointment" Clarke said slowly.

"Yeah…" Lexa nodded.

"…Or Kate's first day of school…"

"I know, I'm really sorry… I just…"

"Have to" Clarke nodded.

"Yeah" Lexa breathed.

"Well then ok" Clarke shrugged.

"Okay?" Lexa asked confused at why Clarke wasn't freaking out.

"Yep" Clarke said.

"And we're… okay?" Lexa asked.

"Fine" Clarke said.

For some reason Lexa didn't believe her but she didn't want to push right now, "Okay" Lexa said.

Clarke put her glasses on and continued to draw, "Kate went down well tonight."

"Good" Clarke said.

"Yeah and Jacob seems to really love school…" Lexa tried.

"Mmmhmm" Was all Lexa got from Clarke.

"Clarke?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Love you too, Lex."

/

Clarke didn't say much more to Lexa that night and when Lexa woke up to shower Clarke was already out of bed. Once she got downstairs she saw Clarke was sitting on the couch drinking a cup of coffee.

"Morning" Lexa said.

"Morning" Clarke said back, "I haven't done breakfast yet… I can make you toast or a bagel."

"No worries I will get it" Lexa said heading into the kitchen. She noticed her lunch was on the counter that Clarke had made the night before, but her coffee cup wasn't out like usual and Clarke hadn't made breakfast. Lexa really didn't mind it wasn't like she expected Clarke to do those things, it was just unusual. She grabbed a bagel and put it into the toaster then got her usual coffee mug out of the cupboard and poured herself some coffee.

After a few minutes of silence, she knew Clarke was upset. "Baby?" She asked gently spreading cream cheese onto her bagel

"Yeah?" Clarke asked.

She didn't know what to say next, she knew 'I'm sorry' wasn't going to cut it, and she really hated having to say it all the time. "I'll fix it, okay?"

"There isn't anything to fix, Lexa" Clarke said.

"Clarke…"

"What, Lexa?"

"Nothing" Lexa said taking her bagel upstairs to finish getting ready.

When she came back down stairs, she kissed her wife "I love you"

"I love you too" Clarke said, "Have a good day."

"You too, I will try and be home before seven" Lexa said.

"Alright" Clarke answered as she walked out the door.

/

A few hours later

Clarke had just dropped Jacob off at school and was headed home when her phone rang.

"Hello?" She answered.

" _What are you doing?"_ Octavia's voice filled the car.

"O!" Kate yelled.

" _KATE!"_ Octavia said to the little girl in the same enthusiastic manner.

"We are driving home from taking Jacob to school" Clarke said.

" _Come over, I'm bored."_

"It's eight-thirty in the morning how are you board?" Clarke laughed.

" _Well, Linc woke me up this morning for… Waffles… and then left for work, so now I'm awake and bored"_ Octavia explained.

"Okay, I need to stop and get Kate and I breakfast though" Clarke said, "Then we will head over."

" _Oh bring me something!"_

"I thought you just said you had…. Ohhhhhhh" She said realizing what her best friend met.

" _Yes, little ears didn't want to say it"_ Octavia laughed.

"Okay I will go get bagels and donuts and be over… wait why aren't you going to work?"

" _Just come over and we can talk about everything, I love you"_ Octavia said.

"I love you too" Clarke said.

" _Love you Kate-monster"_

"Love you Annie-O" Kate said.

/

"WE HERE!" Kate said running into Octavia's house.

"Kate!" Octavia said picking up the little girl.

"Hi!" Kate said kissing her auntie's face.

"Hi" Octavia said and kissed Kate back.

Clarke smiled, "I come bearing gifts of sugar and carbs!"

"The very best kind," Octavia smiled "Living room or bed?"

"Big bed!" Kate said.

"She speaks and she decides!" Octavia said "Wanna fly there?"

"Yes!" Kate said, Octavia held her up in her arms "Arm's out, super Kate!"

"Stuper Kate" Kate yelled as she 'flew' to her auntie's room.

Octavia tossed the little girl onto the bed and she giggled, "Okay you two" Clarke said.

"Uh oh, we're in trouble… that's the mom voice" Octavia looked to Kate who nodded even though she had no idea what that meant.

Clarke laughed, "Hardly… So why aren't you working O, you okay?"

"Yes just morning sickness which has been at night not the morning, so I hardly slept last night" Octavia told her.

"Gosh it's the worst" Clarke said.

"It really is!" Octavia nodded.

"When do you see a doc?"

"Two weeks" Octavia told her sitting down and reaching into the box for a donut. "So, how are things at the Woods residence?"

"Their okay" Clarke shrugged.

"Why do I not believe you?" Octavia asked with a mouth full of donut.

Clarke shrugged, "She has to go to California this weekend."

"Is she going to miss the showing?" Octavia asked wide eyed.

Clarke shook her head, "she leaves on Sunday, but is going to miss our doctor's appointment and" She gestured to Kate "that ones F-i-r-s-t D-a-y."

"That's not okay, Clarke" Octavia said.

"Doctor" Kate asked, "Mommy sick?"

"Mommy is just fine Kate…. Can you turn on the Tv? Clarke asked Octavia.

"Yes, Disney Jr!" Kate clapped.

"Yeah" Octavia turned on the tv and sat Kate at the bottom of the bed on the ottoman she had there.

"That's better anyhow Clarke said "Now she won't get donut on your bed."

"Please I wasn't worried" Octavia said, "PJ Masks or Paw Patrol?" She asked Kate.

"Paw Patrol" Kate said.

"You got it sister" Octavia said sitting back at the top of the bed with Clarke.

"Here's the thing" Clarke said, "When I made the appointment I didn't really think she would be able to go anyhow because I knew how this month was for her."

"But that doesn't make her not being there okay, Clarke this is the first big appointment where you get an actual ultrasound and get to see the baby" Octavia said.

"I know and I'm upset about it, but I also kinda understand. She is going to California to train some big lead from the Marines so she doesn't keep getting pressure to go to Syria" Clarke said.

"Well that makes sense, but those dates… it has to be then?" Octavia asked.

"It's when he is there… this guy is already in Syria but has to come back for some reason." Clarke shrugged, "I don't know but I mean I would rather her be gone four days and in California then for god knows how long in Syria."

"I mean I agree but…"

"Maybe this is my give ya know. The give and take thing goes both ways…" Clarke said trying to sound positive. "Plus I'm more upset about her first day to be honest."

"Clarke, are you outta your mind all you have done is give. You have given Lexa more than enough room when it comes to her work, to this company. But this is a little out of control now."

"She has been around so much more for the kids though…" Clarke said. "She's been getting home early and really trying to spend time with them more. I see the effort."

"I know she has been trying but do you really think two weeks of trying makes everything better? Believe me the last thing I want for you guys is to fight all the time, but… don't you think she needs to be around more for you too, not just the kids?" Octavia said.

"I mean… they're what are important" Clarke shrugged.

"No, not just them" Octavia said. "Your marriage can't just be about the kids…"

"It's not…"

"Clarke… Be honest with yourself. I know you had that night out a few weeks ago but other than that, has she really been putting in the same effort with the marriage as she has been with the kids?" Octavia asked her.

"We're parents Octavia it's different now."

"Great, so when these three are grown what's left? Two people who never speak about anything but their kids and have nothing else to talk about? The relationship, the marriage, it's just left dissipated?"

"It's not going to come to that!" Clarke said getting upset.

"Really, are you sure?" Octavia asked.

"Why are you being like this?"

"I'm just trying to get you to see Clarke that she still needs to put in more of an effort. I know she is trying and that's great but she's still not giving one hundred yet."

"I know" Clarke said, her eyes starting to fill with tears.

"Oh, hon… that's not what I was trying to do" Octavia hugged her.

"I'm just… I want things to be better and making this a thing won't make things better" Clarke wiped her eyes.

"Sweeping it under the rug won't either, babe" Octavia said honestly.

"You're right, I know" Clarke said.

/

Clarke had just gotten both kids to sleep when Lexa walked in the door.

"I'm sorry I am late" Lexa said, "I had a shit day."

"I'm sorry to hear that" Clarke said sitting on their bed drawing.

"How was your day, how are the kids?"

"A sleep" Clarke said, "Our day was fine. Kate and I went to Octavia's most the morning and then after I got Jake from school we ran a few errands before coming home to do dinner and homework."

"I really am sorry" Lexa said walking into their closet to change. "I had a meeting with Pike then Ontari and since she is in California she has no sense of East coast time" Lexa waved her hand walking into their closet to get changed.

"It's okay Lex, really."

"Can we talk about something?" Lexa asked gently coming out of the closet sliding into bed with her wife now.

"Sure" Clarke nodded.

"Why did you tell me you weren't upset about this trip when you clearly are?"

"Because Lexa, there isn't anything you can do about it and I don't want to fight, or make you feel worse then you probably already do that you have to miss the things you do."

"I wanted to be there so bad…" Lexa said quietly.

"I know and that's why I didn't want to make a big deal out of it" Clarke said.

"But, it is a big deal…"

"It sorda is, yes… but" Clarke shrugged "I will have more doctors' appointments, there will be more ultrasounds, just because you can't be at this one doesn't mean you won't be at the others."

"But Kate won't have another first day of Preschool…" Lexa said.

"She won't your right, but we will have other first days…"

"I know, this just sucks… I have been thinking about work a lot lately." Lexa said.

"What about it?" Clarke asked.

"I don't want to miss things with this new one, or anymore with the other two. I don't know if working so much is such a great idea right now."

"Well, I agree but how are you going to do that when you just started this company?"

"I don't know, I could either sell my shares to Indra and Roan or maybe just be more of a behind the scenes person" Lexa shrugged.

"Could you do that, either of those things… Like would you be happy Lex?" Clarke asked.

"I have no idea, I think so" Lexa said, "I could work from home a few days a week even. There is no reason I have to be in the office everyday if I have everything here. Half of my day is phone calls and video conferences anyways."

"I would be fine with any of those options but I think the last is your best, if you can make it work. You love what you do and I'm really okay with you working Lexa, I am just not okay with you being so absent." Clarke sighed, "You have been putting in an effort with the kids lately and I notice that, believe me I do, but…"

"But?" Lexa asked.

"I feel like maybe, our marriage isn't a priority anymore. And I know, we have kids and a baby on the way and that's the priority, it's just… I miss you."

"I'm sorry that I made you feel that our marriage wasn't a priority, that isn't okay. I hate that you ever felt that way. Your my life Clarke, your my rock… you keep our family moving and hold us together. I'm so in love with you babe, I will do better… I promise" Lexa said.

"Maybe we could start doing a date night once a week?" Clarke asked.

"Yeah that sounds good, Id love that" Lexa nodded.

"We have more than enough family who would watch the kids for a few hours once a week, I think it would be good for us" Clarke said.

"I agree" Lexa nodded, "totally."

/


	13. Paintings and People

"Are you ready for tonight?" Lexa asked walking into the bathroom where Clarke was getting ready.

"I am so nervous" Clarke said applying her makeup.

"You have nothing to be nervous for, your paintings are amazing" Lexa smiled.

"You haven't seen them" Clarke laughed.

The girls had been trying to find a time to get to Clarkes studio together, but it just hadn't happened yet and Clarke might have been putting it off a little as well.

"Well, I know they are… but speaking of, when are we leaving to head over there?" Lexa and Clarke had decided to go early just them so Lexa could see before everyone else.

"In like fifteen minutes, I just need to get dressed" Clarke said. "My mom has the kids now and she is going to drop them off at Harper and Monty's before heading over to the gallery."

"Okay, it was super nice of their nanny to watch our kids" Lexa said.

"For sure, I think it's just better for them not to be there tonight and everyone who would normally watch them wanted to be there, so this worked out great."

"For sure" Lexa walked into their bedroom, "So what did Nia think of your collection?"

"She had nothing but good things to say" Clarke ran her fingers through her hair, "this is as good as it's going to get" She said to herself.

"You look gorgeous" Lexa walked back in dressed in a black suit, jacket unbuttoned with a white shirt underneath.

"No you look amazing, seriously you haven't aged a day since we married" Clarke said in awe of her wife.

"Hardly" Lexa looked in the mirror, "Look at these lines…"

"I can't because their non-existent, plus look at your ass" Clarke smirked.

"I can't, it's behind me" Lexa laughed.

"Well take my word for it then, it's incredible!" Clarke pulled Lexa in and kissed her. "I love you so much."

"I love you too baby" Lexa kissed her again. "I can't wait to watch you shine tonight."

Do I look okay?" Clarke asked walking down the stairs.

"Seriously, stunning" Lexa said.

"Thank you, do I look pregnant?" Clarke asked.

"Nope, though your like three months now so we need to start telling people anyways" Lexa said.

"I know" Clarke nodded, "After this appointment, I just… want to be sure."

"That there's a baby in there?" Lexa said putting her hands on her wife's belly, "I'm pretty sure there is."

"I know that, I'm totally already showing…" Clarke smiled. "I just want to be sure everything's okay before i—we say anything"

"I understand, me too" Lexa kissed her "ready?"

"As ready as I'm going to be, sure" Clarke said.

/

They arrived at Grounder, Nia's art gallery at about four forty five.

"No one's here" Lexa said.

"No, this is just us" Clarke told her, "Nia will be here about five-fifteen or so."

"Okay" Lexa said, following Clarke in as she unlocked the door.

Clarke paused, "I don't know if I should give you a… warning or not."

"Warning?" Lexa asked.

"I painted some of these when things weren't great" Clarke said opening the door.

"I see" Lexa nodded, "Okay."

Clarke walked in and flipped on the light revealing the gallery with the walls filled with her art, it looked amazing. Her pieces filled up the walls perfectly, and the space really looked great.

"Wow" Lexa said as she walked in "it looks amazing in here…"

"Yeah Nia really did a great job knowing where things should be placed" Clarke nodded.

As Lexa started to walk around and look, Clarke became nervous. She hoped her wife wouldn't be hurt by what she had painted the last few months. She had worked so hard on everything and just wanted Lexa to love this collection as much as she did. But she knew in the back of her mind there was that chance that it could cause an issue, or hurt her.

As Lexa looked at each painting she could pretty much pick out what Clarke was painting with each one. There's was one of a women sleeping in a bed with an empty side, a few paintings over there was a little boy playing baseball with a tear running down his face with people sitting behind him on the bleachers a dark shadow where someone is clearly missing. As Lexa kept walking the wall she stopped at another where a little girl was at dance class, everyone in the class had a jubilant expression besides her and she was looking out the window where are the parents stood watching and she looked sad.

"There…" Lexa started then paused as she kept walking.

She got to the end of the wall, where there was a painting of the same woman from the empty bed, the two little kids, and another women sitting on the couch, all looked happy and content.

"Beautiful" Lexa whispered, turning to Clarke with tears in her eyes.

"They're not meant to hurt you in anyway" Clarke said. "They're just" she paused, "Well their honest and true to my emotions at the time Lex, I only know how to paint what I feel."

"I know, and I love them really, they're honest and raw but they're also… beautiful" Lexa smiled. "It just makes me realize how much I need to figure out this work thing though, how I've really hurt you, not just the kids the last few months."

Clarke just nodded.

"I'm sorry I made you so sad" Lexa sighed walking over to Clarke taking her hands, "I love you so much and these are amazing, I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you" Clarke said kissing Lexa, "I was so nervous for you to see them. Things are finally just getting good again, and I didn't want this to… put us back there all."

"I needed to see them" Lexa said softly, "It's exactly how you were feeling in those moments, and I needed to be able to feel that. You express yourself best this way, and I really can see Clarke."

"I agree" Clarke nodded.

"I love you Clarke" Lexa kissed her it was soft and gentle but passionate and had so much meaning behind it.

"I love you too, Lex" Clarke said pressing her forehead to Lexa's, content in this moment that was just the two of them right now.

/

"Hello" Nia said walking in.

"Hi" Clarke said, she and Lexa were sitting on the couch in the office.

"How are you guys?" Nia asked.

"Great, this one's nervous" Lexa said.

"Clarke, you have no reason to be nervous. This is some of your best work to date" Nia told the blonde "Don't you think, Lexa?"

"Totally" Lexa nodded, "I think it's amazing."

"It really is… now Clarke you and I need to go over some things for tonight; Marcus is going to be here around seven."

Marcus Kane was a serious deal in the art world and this was kind of Clarke's big break. If he liked her work it could open her up to so many opportunities. Including showing in big New York City galleries, something Clarke had always dreamed about. "Okay" Clarke said clearly nervous.

"I will introduce you after he walks the room, all you need to do is be yourself, tell him about your collection and answer any questions he may have" Nia told her.

Clarke just nodded.

"He is extremely nice you have nothing to worry about" Nia said.

"Just my career" Clarke sighed.

"I wouldn't have had you do this if I didn't think you were good enough Clarke, he is going to love your work, I know it. Make sure you work the room from start to finish, try to say hello to everyone that comes through that door. I will make sure I introduce you to the importants but anyone could be here so you need to circulate."

"Okay" Clarke nodded, "I can do that."

"And other than that just enjoy yourself, this is a big night for you and you deserve to enjoy it." Nia told her.

"Thank you Nia, so much for this opportunity" Clarke smiled.

"Of course Clarke you deserve it. Did you walk the room, does everything look good to you?" Nia asked.

Lexa just sat there listening to them talk, so proud of her wife. Since they had met Clarke had always talked about wanting to be someone in the art world and wanting to make it and have people know her name in the art community.

"Yeah, I think the room looks great!" Clarke nodded.

"Okay good, the caterers are going to start to arrive here pretty quickly. You should get something to eat before we open the doors, because I know you're going to get consumed by people."

"Okay" Clarke nodded.

"Do you have any questions for me?" Nia asked.

Clarke shook her head, "I don't think so… you'll be close right? In case I have any though out the night?"

"Of course, I will be close all night" Nia promised.

"Okay and you'll stay by my side?" Clarke looked to Lexa.

"Absolutely" Lexa smiled.

"Alright then I think I can handle this" Clarke nodded.

"You got this" Nia said.

"Totally" Lexa said.

/

It was six forty five and the doors would be opening at seven, Abby arrived with Raven and Anya.

"Hi, It looks amazing in here honey" Abby said.

"Seriously, so good" Anya said.

"Thanks guys" Clarke hugged them all, "I'm so fucking nervous" Clarke whispered into Raven's ear.

"Not necessary there amazing, really" Raven said, "And I'm not even saying that because I may be a tiny bit biased."

"Thanks" Clarke said, "Did the kids do okay Mom?"

"Perfect" Abby said, "Jacob was a little sad he couldn't come, but they were happy to see their friends."

"Thank you so much for taking them" Lexa said walking up, "Hi guys."

"Of course" Abby said.

"Where are Octavia and Lincoln?" Clarke asked.

"They'll be here about seven" Raven said. "Lincoln had just gotten home when I talked to O, should be here soon."

"Sounds good" Clarke said.

"Are you excited?" Anya asked.

"Yeah" Clarke breathed, "I really am."

"Okay" Nia said walking out, "I'm going to open the doors a little early, that way people can filter in as soon as they get here but first…" Nia held up a bottle of champagne, "We need to toast this one" She nodded to Clarke. Each woman took an empty glass and Nia popped the cork on the bottle and then poured some champagne into each glass. Lexa and Raven both just looked at Clarke like, you can't have that but Abby nodded at her and mouthed "A sip is okay."

"To Clarke and a great showing, your work is stunning and I am very proud of you and how far you have come in the last few years" Nia said.

"To Clarke" they all said and then took a sip. Clarke just took a baby sip and set the glass down on the table.

"It's going to be amazing" Lexa whispered into her wife's ear.

"Thank you, I'm glad you're here" Clarke smiled.

"Me too" Lexa kissed her head.

/

"I'm so sorry we're late" Octavia said walking in the door, it was just seven and there really wasn't anyone else there yet.

"You're not late" Clarke hugged her best friend, "You're right on time."

"I wanted to be here early, but…"

"It's my fault, I'm sorry" Lincoln said, "Work emergency this morning and I had to go in."

"It's more than fine guys, really" Clarke smiled, "I am glad you're here."

"I'm so proud of you" Octavia said.

"Everyone keeps saying that… I don't know why, all I did was paint" Clarke shrugged.

"Stop that, you put so much work into this collection… and you have wanted this for so long. You did it Clarke, you're here" Octavia said with tears in her eyes.

"Ahh, I see the baby hormones are kicking in" Clarke whispered.

"Totally, I hate it!" Octavia laughed, "Does it last long?"

"Nine whole months" Clarke smiled.

"Damn this tiny human" Octavia said.

"Their aliens I swear, taking over our bodies" Clarke laughed.

"I love you Clarke."

"I love you, O" Clarke hugged her.

"What'd she think?" Octavia asked.

"She loved em" Clarke told her knowing just what Octavia was asking.

"See I told you!" Octavia said.

"Hey" Nia said walking over, "Sorry to interrupt but, that there is Travis Reed. I'd like to introduce you."

"Go" Octavia smiled, "I'm going to go find the family."

/

The showing had been going for almost an hour now when Clarke saw him walking in, Marcus Kane. She was standing at a table talking to an older woman who was there when she saw him. "That's him" She leaned over and whispered to Lexa.  
Lexa looked and just nodded taking Clarkes hand to keep her calm.

"So, do you do work on commissions?" The lady asked.

"I do" She reached into her clutch and pulled out a card, "Here's my contact information just give me a call."

"Thank you" The lady said then walked away.

Nia looked over at Clarke and she nodded.

"Breathe baby" Lexa said.

"I—it's…" Clarke tried.

"I know" Lexa said, "But you got this… honest."

"Okay, just don't leave me." Clarke said.

"Never" Lexa said.

Clarke just watched Kane walk around the room, looking at each painting taking them all in.

"Is that?" Raven asked walking over with Octavia.

"It is" Clarke nodded.

"Okay show time" Octavia said, "He is going to love them Clarke."

"I sure hope so" Clarke breathed.

Nia walked over with a dark haired woman who looked to be just a little older than they were. "Who's that?" Lexa asked.

"No idea" Clarke shrugged.

"Clarke" Nia spoke, "I wanted to introduce you to Rebecca Allister"

"Becca please" The tall statuess woman held out her hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Becca Allister as in, Allister photography and gallery?" Clarke asked.

"The very one" Nia said.

"Wow, it's an honor to meet you Becca, really" Clarke said "I've admired your work for years."

"Well I am a fan of yours as well" Becca said, "These paintings are extraordinary."

Lexa just beamed with pride next to her wife, "This is my wife, Lexa" Clarke introduced her.

"Nice to meet you, Lexa" Becca said.

"You as well" Lexa smiled.

"Do you photograph as well as paint and draw?" Becca asked.

Clarke nodded, "Not on a scale like you do but I love to shoot as well, yes."

"I would love to see more of your work sometime, maybe we could grab a coffee while I am in town if you have time this weekend; or you could come to the City to my studio sometime."

"I would love both" Clarke smiled.

Becca pulled her phone out of her back pocket, "Here put your info in, and I will give you a call or text tomorrow, if that works for you."

"Totally" Clarke said putting her number into Becca's phone, "That's incredible thank you."

"Well your super talented Clarke, and I'd love to pick your brain and talk to you about art in an informal setting when you have more time" Becca smiled.

"I look forward to it" Clarke smiled.

"Me too" Becca said, "Very nice to meet you both… I will be in contact Clarke."

"Sounds good, nice to meet you too" Clarke waved.

"Nice to meet you" Lexa smiled as Becca walked away.

"Holy shit" Clarke freaked out a little.

"She's a big deal" Nia said.

"I know" Clarke let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

"That's amazing, honey" Lexa leaned over and kissed her wife's cheek gently.

"It really is" Clarke said still shocked. "I can't believe she likes my stuff, like really."

"You ready for Kane?" Nia asked.

"I guess, yeah" Clarke nodded.

"Come on, I will take you over there" Nia said.

Clarke let go of Lexa's hand, "I will be back" She said to her.

"I love you" Lexa smiled.

"I love you too" Clarke said.

/

It had been a very long night and all Clarke wanted to do was go home and sleep, but she knew her family and friends wanted to go out and get something to eat to celebrate her.

"So" Lexa said in the car, "What happened with Kane?"

"He said he loved my work and asked to setup a meeting for next month" Clarke said with a smile.

"That is incredible" Lexa said.

"It really was… I'm so happy with the way everything went tonight. But the thing that still gets me the giddiest is this Becca Allister thing, she's a big deal."

"You have always loved her work" Lexa nodded.

"And the fact that she wants to talk to me, on a personal level as an artist is just… wow" Clarke nodded.

"I know I have said this a million and one times tonight but I'm so proud of you Clarke" Lexa beamed.

"Thanks baby" Clarke said taking her free hand.

"I love you" Lexa said.

"I love you too" Clarke yawned.

"You too tired to celebrate?" Lexa asked.

"No, I'm okay" Clarke nodded.

"Are the kids staying at the Green's tonight?" Lexa asked.

"No, mom is picking them up after dinner and taking them back to her hotel."

"Okay" Lex nodded, "An empty house sounds nice."

"Oh yeah?" Clarke asked.

"Yeah so we can celebrate tonight" Lexa said.

/


	14. Celebrations and Goodbyes

They got home around one AM that night after they'd went out to dinner with their family and friends and ended up just sitting there talking for a little while once they had finished eating. Lexa's hand hardly ever leaving Clarke's knee or hand the whole night.

"You were amazing tonight" Lexa said kissing Clarke.

"It really was such a great night" Clarke beamed, "I'm so glad you were there with me!"

"I wouldn't have been anywhere else, honest" Lexa smiled softly.

"My whole body hurts" Clarke sighed leaning her head onto Lexa's shoulder, "I feel like I've been on my feet for hours."

"You kinda have" Lexa smiled, "would you like a massage?"

"I'd love one" Clarke smiled her arms around Lexa's neck.

"Okay, strip then lay down" Lexa told her.

Clarke did as she was told lying down on the bed on her stomach as she was asked to do, as Lexa walked into the other room for a moment. Lexa came back and Clarke noticed that she grabbed the massage oil; she smiled as she squeezed some into her hands to warm it. Seconds later Clarke felt the warmed oil on her back and then her wife's patient hands rubbing soothingly. Knots untied across her shoulders, tension eased from her neck, she sighed the stress seemed to dissipate from her body immediately.

Lexa bent across Clarke and kissed the top of her shoulder, before she moved down to massage and lovingly caress the small of her back and her firm cheeks. Lexa's amorous hands pressed Clarke's thighs apart purposefully and she wiped any residual oil from her hands onto Clarke's calves. Running her fingers up the insides of Clarke's legs and felt along the length of her slit.

Clarke let out a moan, and she could feel Lexa smirk, even though she couldn't see her. The blondes back arched and her hips lift toward those long fingers that Lexa just so nonchalantly ran across her. Lexa's hands returned to the backs of Clarke's thighs, massaging each in turn relaxing the muscles of her legs. Her thumbs found the pressure points in the soles of Clarke's feet, relieving temporarily the soreness from being on her feet all night at the gallery.

"Good?" Lexa asked.

"So good" Clarke hummed with a smile "So, so good."

"Good, flip over" Lexa said as she rubbed in the warmed oil from Clarke's toes to her hips, bypassing her core despite her wife's body's physical protest and her unintelligible groans. Though Clarke wanted her to linger, she was too relaxed by Lexa's technique and confident of her eventual intention to bring her to nirvana, Clarke didn't object more sensibly. Her eyes closed under her wife's calming touch to concentrate on the exceptional work her fingers were doing, but they popped back open when Lexa's mouth pressed a soft kiss right at her belly button. Having regained Clarke's full attention, her suave hands gently worked out the stiffness of her upper arms and forearms, letting her thumbs play crossed the blonde's collarbone and breastbone comfortingly before moving down to first conventionally and then seductively squeeze and knead Clarke's aching breasts. Swiftly she fell to the temptation and enveloped a nipple in her eager mouth. Clarke grinned down at her smugly over her weakness for her body.

Lexa just looked at her with a smirk as her tongue moved over Clarke's nipple. It hardened inside her mouth and she watched the other one harden in sympathetic pleasure. Her eyes stayed locked on Clarke's, filled with lust and intent and Clarke knew she was about to feel a jolt, but wasn't sure what would cause it. Like a genius composer with a piano, Lexa knew every note on her wife's body. She climbed atop of Clarke without freeing her nipple, effectively ending any pretension of the massage, but Clarke was not complaining. Her enchanted hands touching her in any capacity shot Clarke's libido into the red zone. Her petting pushes Clarke further and her lips are now fastened to her wife's suctioned hard nipple in her mouth, forcing all other thoughts from her dizzy head.

"Oh. My. God" Clarke managed to moan.

Lexa smirked and the eye contact deepened the moment as her teeth replaced her lips. Clarke moaned at the delightful pressure. The distraction of Lexa's mouth at her excited breast kept her from noticing Lexa's right hand. Her left hand was supporting her balance on Clarke's body but her right hand was nowhere to be seen. With no other warning, two of her oil-slicked fingers slid into Clarke's drenched sex and curved up to dip into her unprepared core.

"Mmmmm oh god, Lexa" Clarke moaned as her hips bucked beneath Lexa and she gasped out the breath she'd held. "Fuck, Lexa" She moaned. Lexa's laughing eyes glittered and the pressure on her nipple slackened as Lexa smiled around it. Lexa's fingers twisted inside of Clarke, causing a tactile euphoria. Her mouth simultaneously crossed her heaving chest to her other breast. She teased over the sensitive skin and erect nipple with light licks.

Lexa kissed a path over Clarke's chest, neck, jaw, and chin. Her weight settled onto Clarke fully now as she found her lips again. She kissed her and muffled cries of passion. Clarke just whimpered into her mouth as her fingers continued to pump in and out of her core.

Her kiss gained vigor and Clarke was torn between granting attention to Lexa's skilled tongue, the moans being seemingly ripped from her body, and her increasingly urgent need for air. Between the massage oil and Clarke's need, Lexa's fingers slid with ease so very deep into her. She felt her knuckles pass through her entrance each way with every stroke. Clarke's pelvis pushed back, meeting her thrusts with friction.

Lexa repositioned for better leverage doing so, she abandoned her wife's lips. She can tell by Clarke's moans that she is close. Clarke wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling her lips back to reunite with greater forcefulness this time, her moans now coming in streams. Lexa's sexy grunts of power and effort began to bring Clarke even higher and closer to her release. Lexa looked into her eyes and saw her everything. Clarke in that moment had no protections from her; no walls, no illusions, no half-truths, and no pretenses. She was naked before her in every sense and comfortable with being so vulnerable with her for the first time in months.

"I am so close.." Clarke breathed out.

Knowing it wouldn't take much now, Lexa let her fingers thrust knuckle deep into her one last time, with force "Yes baby, come for me" Lexa breathed into Clarke's sweaty hair, that was all it took. Clarke let out a scream in ecstasy, her orgasm burning through her whole being, every muscle contracted, Lexa had just relaxed firing every nerve ending she awakened, and leaving Clarke insensible. Through Clarke's cloudy, post-orgasmic haze, she saw Lexa smile in the darkness below her. Lexa crawled up her body kissing along her sensitive skin as she did. Clarke's body was still riding her high with the touch of her wife's lips as they trailed up, causing an aftershock and instantly the blonde was covered her in goose bumps.

"I love you" Lexa whispered in her ear.

"I love you" Clarke said breathless still.

/

Clarke woke up the next morning, Lexa still asleep beside her. Lying on her stomach, her chestnut curls sprawled all over her pillow and face. Clarke's stomach sank knowing Lexa had to leave that evening for California. "Good morning" Clarke said brushing the hair out of her face and peppering her with kisses.

"Mmm" Lexa stretched then grabbed Clarke pulling her impossibly closer, "Good morning beautiful."

"You have to leave-"

"Shhh" Lexa pressed her finger to Clarke's lips, "Lets enjoy the morning… we can think about that later."

"Okay" Clarke nodded, her stomach rumbled.

"Someone is hungry" Lexa laughed.

"I am" Clarke nodded, "Feed me?"

"Of course, let's go down to the kitchen and I will make you breakfast" Lexa smile.

"Downstairs, too far" Clarke wined.

Lexa got up and pulled on a pair of sleep shorts and a shirt, tossing one of hers to Clarke knowing how much she liked to be in her previously worn clothes. Clarke pulled it on and smelled it with a smile, "You need to wear like six shirts today, so I have a bunch for when you're gone."

"I think I can do that" Lexa nodded bending, down scooping Clarke up in her arms.

"What are you doing?" Clarke cracked up.

"Carrying you down the stairs, since it's, what did you say… too far." Lexa smiled listening to her wife laugh.

Clarke put her arms around Lexa's neck and kissed her. "I love you, ya know that?"

"I think I do, yeah" Lexa smiled.

"Do you love me?" Clarke giggled.

"Sorda, yeah" Lexa rolled her eyes playfully.

"Ya know, we should get married or something…" Clarke joked with a giggle.

"I'm down" Lexa said setting Clarke on the couch kissing her, "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Um…. Some pancakes… and some… bacon… and some chicken" Clarke smirked.

Lexa laughed knowing she was quoting the notebook, like she always did when asked what she wanted for breakfast. "Is that really what you want?" She asked standing in front of Clarke with her hands on her hips.

"French toast, please!" Clarke smiled.

"You're a goober, ya know that?" Lexa asked walking into the kitchen.

"I'm okay with that, I love chocolate covered peanuts" Clarke shrugged.

/

"MOM… MOMMA?" Jacob said running into the house.

"Walk mister" Lexa said from the couch where she was sitting with Clarke, Clarke's feet over her lap snuggled under a blanket.

Jacob slowed down heading to his Moms, jumping onto the couch with them. "Hi" He smiled getting into Lexa's lap.

"Hi little man" Clarke smiled adjusting her feet for him, "did you have fun with Nanna?"

"YES!" Kate said crawling up onto the couch now.

"There's my girl" Lexa said as the little blonde crawled into Clarke's lap.

"Hi" Abby said.

"Hey mom" Clarke smiled, "Did they do well?"

"Very they were both asleep when I picked em up. Then we got to the hotel and were up for an hour or so. They slept in this morning though, and have had breakfast."

"Thanks" Lexa smiled.

"How was your Art thing mommy?" Jacob asked.

"It was very good buddy, after we take Momma to the airport later I'll take you over to see some of the paintings. I had Nia leave some up so you could see them before they all got taken down. Would you like that?" Clarke asked.

"Yes, why do you have to leave Momma?" Jacob looked to Lexa with a frown.

"We've talked about this Jake, I'm going to go to California for work for a few days" Lexa told him.

"No go!" Kate said getting upset.

"Hey hey, it's just for a few days alright" Lexa said gently.

"Plus Nanna is going to be here for two of em" Clarke smiled.

"Okay" Jacob nodded, "Will you bring me back a present?"

"If your good for your Mom, of we'll see" Lexa smiled.

"Me too!" Kate said.

"You too Kate" Lexa kissed her head.

"So I'm going to let you hang out as a family since you leave tonight Lex, but Clarke I will be back around seven?" Abby said.

"Yes, please check out of the hotel this afternoon too Mom. I don't know why you even got a hotel this time" Clarke said.

"I figured that way I could take the kids and you guys could have a little alone time before Lexa left" Abby shrugged, "And I will be checking out, I was planning on staying here with you the next few nights."

"Thank you" Clarke smiled.

"Yes thank you, I appreciate you staying a few extra days and going tomorrow in my absence" Lexa said.

"Of course" Abby nodded, "I am thrilled I get to be around for those things. Okay Lex, text me and let me know you made it safely tonight?"

"I will," Lexa said standing up to hug Abby, "I love you."

"I love you too, I will see you in a few weeks when you guys come up for Jake's birthday" Abby said.

"I'm looking forward to it" Lexa smiled.

"Okay bye guys I will see you tonight" Abby said kissing Jake, Kate and Clarke on the head.

"Bye Mom"

"Love you Nanna" Jake said.

"ME TOO" Kate yelled as Abby walked out the door.

"So what do you want to do today?" Clarke looked to Lexa.

"Snuggle on the couch with you guys" Lexa said.

"Can we watch a movie?" Jacob asked.

"Sure can" Lexa nodded, "What would you like to watch?"

"Um, how bout we do pick three" Jake looked to Lex with a smile that was all Clarke.

"Sounds good, do you want to pick the three or do you want me too?" Lexa asked him.

"I will pick three, then you choose" Jacob got up off the couch and ran over to where the movies were; he pulled three off the shelf and ran back to Lexa. "Okay so Cars 3, Finding Dory or Beauty and the Beast."

Lexa looked to Clarke, "Live action or animated?" Clarke asked her.

"Live action" Lexa smirked knowing it was Clarke's favorite and Clarke just nodded.

"I knew you were going to pick this one" Jacob said.

"I'll put it on" Clarke said, "And then get some snackies."

"Op-corn?" Kate asked.

"Yeah I'll make some popcorn" Clarke said.

"I love you" Jacob hugged Lexa tight, "I'm really going to miss you."

"I am going to miss you bud, you have to take care of Mom when I'm gone for me alright?"

"Alright" he nodded.

"Me too" Kate said.

"Yes, you both have to take care of you Mommy for me" Lexa ran her hands through Kate's blonde curls.

"Kate do you want to help me?" Clarke called from the kitchen.

"Yes" Kate got up and ran to help Clarke.

/

"Bye Momma, I love you!" Jacob said giving Lexa a hug outside the airport.

"I love you too buddy, remember what I said, alright?"

"Yes, take care of Mom and Kate" Jacob said with a smile through his tears.

"No tears buddy, It's going to be quick I promise. Between school and Nanna being here, you won't even notice I'm gone. And I will call every day, okay?" Lexa hugged him one more time.

"Okay" He said.

"I love you Kate," Lexa took the little blonde from Clarke.

"I love you Momma" Kate said quiet, burying her head into Lexa's shoulder.

"You take care of Mom too, okay?" Lexa said kissing her head. "And have the best first day of school tomorrow."

"Okay, I will" Kate said.

"Momma will call you before and after, alright?"

"All-ight" Kate said sad.

Lexa squeezed her daughter once more handing her to Clarke.

"I love you" Clarke said, "Call as soon as you land."

"Promise" Lexa nodded, "I will text all the time."

"You better" Clarke said kissing Lexa, "We'll be okay… I promise." She whispered in her ear.

"I know, I just hate leaving" Lexa sighed.

"I know…"

Lexa kissed Clarke one more time then helped Clarke get the kids back into their car seats, kissing their little faces once more before disappearing into the airport.

/

She got through security pretty quickly since she was taking a later flight and was now sat at her terminal waiting for her boarding time.

She sent Clarke a quick text.

 **Lexa: I miss you guys already.**

 **Clarke: We miss you too.**

 **Lexa: Kids okay?**

 **Clarke: I just got Kate calmed down… Jacob's a little somber but doing alright.**

 **Lexa: I'm sorry…**

 **Clarke: it's okay. we understand, love you.**

Her phone started to ring and Anya's name came across the screen.

"Hey" Lexa said answering her phone.

" _Hi_ " Anya said _, "Are you at the airport?"_

"Yes, sitting at the terminal now."

" _Okay, how did drop off go, Kids do okay?"_

"Not really, but their little and haven't really had me leave before so they don't really get it. But it's better than if I had to go to Syria" Lexa said.

"So much better, you will be home soon" Anya said.

"I know, I just hate that I have to leave at all…"

" _I know Lex, hey listen… I just wanted to give you a heads up that I talked to Mom and Dad and… accidently mentioned you were going to be in town… they want you to come see them_ " Anya said.

"I was planning on it already" Lexa told her.

" _Okay, I just… mentioned you traveling not thinking about it and Dad said you better come see them. Of course mom said I don't know why she isn't staying with us."_

"Because the base is forty five minutes away from their house" Lexa said, "But I figured she was going to give me a hard time for that."

" _I think she's going to give you a harder time for not bringing those grand babies of hers down"_ Anya laughed.

"Everyone loves those kids more than me now" Lexa laughed.

" _Can you blame us?"_ Anya asked.

"Nope, not at all" Lexa smiled.

" _Yeah, so I just wanted to let you know what was up."_

"It's totally fine, I was going to call them obviously" Lexa said.

" _Okay… well have a good trip and text me when you get there okay?"_

"I will, love you."

" _I love you too, Alex"_ Anya said. _"Hug mom and dad for me."_

"Will do" Lexa said hanging up the phone.

"Flight 236 for San Diego California will begin boarding in ten minutes"

Lexa heard the announcement then texted Clarke back.

 **Lexa: Getting ready to board… Love you.**

/


End file.
